Hi all,
I’m a 17 year old male who has been fighting my porn addiction since I was 14. I’ve been lurking on this subreddit for nearly 3 years now, and decided to post for my first time. I happened to relapsed tonight (PMO) after a 92 day streak (my 2nd 90 day streak was in early 2014) which I didn’t even know I had until checking in now. Unfortunately, I gave in to the urge today. Due to my sleep schedule being out of whack, dumb old habits and the stress of school finals it all finally caught up to me. However, I’ll still share my thoughts during my 90 days of NoFap.
Firstly, I have to admit I didn’t experience anything out of the ordinary when doing NoFap, other than an increase in energy to do more things. But even during my 90 days, I still felt I couldn’t enjoy times in my life without feeling guilty about having fun with friends, or having known I had an assignment that I should’ve been doing. But I now know my biggest downfall wasn’t that of stress, but that I didn’t change any of my old habits before NoFap. I didn’t have a sense of urgency to take proper action towards what needed to be done when it needed to be done, which ultimately didn’t allow me to enjoy days of rest and play.
For maybe the past two years now, I haven’t been consistent with doing the things I was supposed to do. Whether that was practising my instrument, getting assignments done on time or fulfilling promises to other people and myself, I’d often fall back into bad habits such as the endless searching for answers and information to “help” me, for which was really just to delay the call to action as much as possible. I’d also judge things and have opinions from a distance, before even personally experiencing it myself. That only added more weight to my mind which is already overcrowded with millions of different thoughts and feelings that go through my head everyday.
In the end, It was my inability to take action during the numerous times I could have that caused the unnecessary stress that I put on myself and I have myself to blame for that. Living stressed out of my mind almost 24/7 and still holding onto some of my bad ‘ol habits; that’s a relapse waiting to happen.
My point is that when you are doing NoFap, you cannot hold onto the old habits that kept you using porn as a source of escape in the first place. Not only will it make you even more frustrated and stressed out when you wonder why you relapsed, but I believe takes away from what the opportunity of doing NoFap gives. Because I believe NoFap is more than just about abstaining from porn and masturbation. It is a perfect opportunity to unshed old skin and become someone greater, someone that you always imagine yourself to be. Take this opportunity to replace old habits with resourceful ones like exercise, reading a book, helping out mum or dad with the dishes or getting to sleep on time. Start small and slowly build up from there. Many of us have more than enough information and answers to take on many of the goals we want to achieve. It’s up to you put that information into practice so it becomes more than just an idea.
Finally I’d like to ask those who are struggling, or anyone now on a long streak to tell or remind yourself why you are taking on the NoFap challenge for. I’d love to hear everyone else’s intentions. And if you haven’t already, take a look at the old habits that need to die and instead replace them with new rituals. Then be devoted and disciplined to these new resourceful rituals EVERY SINGLE DAY, whether you feel like it or not.
I’ve rambled on for far too long and it’s late, but I hope this can instil some confidence in 1, 2 or 5 of you guys/girls out there that are struggling with getting over this reliance on porn. I know that for me I’m still going to keep going, because there is more to this journey than just fighting a porn addiction, and I myself am curious to discover how much of a better person I can be and what I need to improve on time ’round. I hope you discover the same thing also so you too can help those who need some guidance.
Thanks for listening if you got this far.
LINK –17 yr old reporting in after 90 days
by kreyfish
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