At the age of 17 I discovered Hentai, I was thinking like this : it’s only created person so it is bad for no one and it’s not a sin because I don’t covet anyone…
I was stupid lol. At first I was only checking picture and vanilla stuff but it escalated quickly and I finished fantasising about Gangbang and other hard-core stuff. After 6 months I realised it was wrong and I tried to stop. Then it started the infinite cycle of : I stop for 1 week then I am freaky horny so I fall and watch for 8 hours consecutive of porn and I feel so ashamed and bad and tell myself that im gonna stop for real this time and I’ll never do it again ( you know the story). As you know it didn’t work. So I tried as many tricks possible as I could imagine. But I was always in the paradigm of “I need to stop checking porn” instead of replacing it with something else. Btw at the same time I was gaming like hell. At least I was just checking porn once every week and I didn’t have trouble with socialisation and at school, I was even playing hockey. It still was a big struggle for me and I wanted to get over with it.
I then moved from my parent’s house to go to university in collocation with my brother and entered in the Canadian Royal Navy as reservist. I discovered this subbredit because of a friend I met because of the military. After that I discovered that my brother has the same problem as me and we started an accountability group. Me and my brother get rid of internet in our apartment. The accountability group and no internet really helped. I was doing progress, I did some streak of 40 days but I was still falling (I was going to the internet near my apartment and I was downloading porn for like 5 hours to after fap for 8 hours at homme). I did this sequel for 1 year, mid streak than failing horribly. I then discovered cold shower, I did my longest streak of 50 days back then. After that I went for a contract in the Navy and I told myself: It’s been 5 years since I tried to stop, fuck it im gonna fap whenever I want (it was this summer). Though I started training hard this summer with a good friend of mine. He said once to me : this week you won’t fap and if you do you owe me 40$ (because not fapping increase testosterone and It’s good for gym), I accepted the bet. He said after the week that I could fap but without fantasising and I did. Then we did another bet but this one was to not fap for the rest of the contract (about 20 days). I accepted again and this time I started to check again some advice around internet. I discovered NoFap Academy and it really changed my mind.
It say: you need to give everything you have to fight porn. It concern all your unhealthy behavior. You need to change all those unhealthy think (fast food, laziness, gaming, porn, fapping, etc.) and change it with fulfilling discipline (training, waking up early, good alimentation, reading, cold shower, prayer, etc.) So I was all pumped up and I started to have a good discipline in everything (I was military so I had a base). I started to wake up every morning at 8am, continued cold shower, going to the gym 5 time per week, eating healthy food, reading a lot of books, praying and helping friends with the same struggle. Every time I had a big urge I called a friend (I found that social make you forget your urges). In every streak I did I was falling around day 40-45, the urge were really insane. This time those urges came, I was struggling but I had a church retreat in like 1 day so I resisted till then. Then the social made me forget of my urge and everything went bearable after that.
In life I really am a natural happy guy, this is the first time I experience depression, roller coaster of emotions, different mood each day, etc. I think it’s because my brain is resetting to its own sexuality. I’m already feeling the difference, my taste in matter of sexuality are slowly going back to normal.
It is the first time I achieve the 90 days, I know that I still have to fight this enemy and like 1 corinrthians 12 says : Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall. But it’s the first time I have so much hope, I know I can succeed. And I even want to thanks Porn in the way that it is the worst addiction you can have, you need to give the better of yourself, you need to give it all in, you need all weapon possible. Before, I was a gamer who was gaming all days, PMO every time I had an urge and doing nothing of my life! Now im studying in university with amazing grades, I have a good circle of friends which check me as their mentor, I train 5 time a week and I never thought I could have such a beautiful body (I was always really thin in high school) I am now really muscular, it’s been 2 years since I am taking cold shower every day, I wake up early every morning, I eat healthy food for both my training and my health, I don’t procrastinate anymore. There is so much improvement in my life because of NoFap!
What really helped :
-Changing unhealthy behavior (pleasure now, pain latter) for fulfilling discipline (Pain now, pleasure latter)
-Viewing urge as good : it’s the sign that your brain is changing. Embrace the urges because without them your brain don’t recover.
-When I had Urges I was calling a close friend to do something, it helps change your mind and focus on something else
-Get an accountability group, some people who understand your struggle
-If you don’t have a girlfriend do it cold turkey
LINK – 90 days report!
by azurre931
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