As a longtime Reddit lurker I’m going to keep this as short and sweet as possible, provide some insight and motivation we’ve all heard before. This isn’t my first streak, I’ve been doing this for 4 years making it to 60+ days multiple times, and countless 20 day streaks. Prior to NoFAP I was:
- Overweight; 210 pounds @ 5’10
- Extreme social anxiety (crippling)
- Fumbled words when speaking, high voice
- Never looked people in the eyes
- Received ZERO respect from people until they got to know me better, which was difficult to even start with
- Always in my head/intrusive thoughts
- Failing university
- Ended up sitting at home and playing video games 24/7
- Carried a tainted and sickly aura that in every situation would always put me in some difficult position (this I can’t really explain, some pseudoscience but it was there)
- Social interactions were a nightmare, I pushed away everyone in my life
- Took zero risks
- Got SICK all the time like clockwork
- Selfish, only thought about myself and looked at all women as playthings to be used
After 4 years of NoFAP
- Ideal weight; 170 pounds @ 5’10
- Social anxiety obliterated
- Speaking is fluent, no muttering or stuttering
- Deep and assertive voice
- I look people in the eye and they avert their gaze instead of the other way around (I try to be less “intense” to make them feel more comfortable if this happens)
- A sense of humility and inner peace throughout the day
- Don’t play games anymore, lost complete interest
- Find social gatherings soothing and fun (I’m an extrovert apparently)
- Takes risks: Ended up backpacking solo for entire summer in Europe and then parts of Asia
- Insane energy (can do more throughout the day, sleep less and feel refreshed)
- I don’t get sick anymore (haven’t gotten the flu or a cold in this 4 year span)
- I see women as actual human beings, like you know they grew up just like the rest of us…
- I can feel the energy moving around in my bloodstream, my aura is clean and glowing even on days where it is not shining to brightly
Now did I change a lot over this time besides NoFAP? You bet, but without NoFAP things like diet, exercise, meditation risk taking, socializing, reading, and focusing wouldn’t have come to fruition. NoFAP is the reward circuitry foundation and catalyst. If you shoot out your sperm excessively, spike your dopamine to insane levels, you are going to turn into a human vegetable but feel all the negative consequences. STOP! Even when I do relapse, I’ve controlled my ability to not binge, and the negative feelings are at a much less intense level and recovery is very rapid.
As far as things with women are going, while the benefits ebb and flow and spike, the overall average is LEAGUES above what should be normal, things I have noticed:
- women talk and double take me when in groups or I walk by/fling there hair/preen
- women initiate conversations, make contact and come closer in social situations
- women tell me I smell good
- women stare at me in some manner on a daily basis
- my best friend is now a woman
- I feel comfortable around both sexes, I naturally look at women like my little sisters, and elderly women and wise mothers – I see men as in need of help and those that aren’t (probably people who don’t fap) as sources of knowledge
- My need for sex is different. At any point if girl comes on to me I get rock hard, but I also now outweigh my focus on myself so it prevents me from jumping into bed with women and lose control
- I find beauty in both men and women, particularly the eyes and face as a whole
The benefits are endless, still even with all these benefits the best thing NoFAP has provided me is the comfort to be OK even when the benefits ebb and flow. The benefits will subside for a few days then come back stronger in cycles – and that’s completely fine. I’m human so from time to time the ego boosts are nice, but even then you see that YOU as a person are nothing special, we all have the same needs, feelings and desires and that’s what makes us all special. I’m happy with myself and I see every day in a positive light rather than a negative black hole that sucks the essence out of your soul. I mean, I don’t know how much more I can say – yes life does get this good if you are doing the right things on NoFAP. The hardest part is just sticking through the bad days (which you will have, always till the day you die). Use that concept as fuel to throw away porn – the world is enough, you don’t need a fake one on a screen as well.
Good luck to all of you!
LINK –UNREAL CHANGES with NoFap
I allowed porn to make me a shitty son to my late father.
Preface by saying am currently very happy at this point in my life, on to bigger and better things I was not capable of a few years ago. I type this post from a angle of regret but also wisdom, bettering myself to learn from it and hopefully reinforce that in others.
Today I stumbled on an old song from my childhood and a flood of memories of all five senses overwhelmed me, I subsequently and vividly remember my childhood and my father. If you have seen Master of None on Netflix you can also relate to this a bit.
My father worked his ass off in becoming a professional, put his own family on his back and was the trailblazer in his family. Three different countries, 5 languages, government contracts and the works – and he even turned down a teaching profession at the University of Manchester in the 70’s. Moved to North America and got married late and had me, his only son (although I have siblings from another marriage by my mother). He loved me almost too much and from my point of view it was a bit overbearing. I loved my dad no doubt and he new that, but I can now clearly recall instances where he asked me to do so many things, simple things – chores, requests, and things I should have done out of my good will.
- Cut this tree
- Come with me to the store
- Mow the lawn
- Go to the movies with me
- Come to this store and help me choose “x” out
- Help me build this shed
- Help me repair “x”
Endless little things in life… that at the time seem trivial. That’s what porn does, it makes real life seem trivial and porn out to be the absolute. He put so much stock into his life and therefore my own, paying for my university in full, cooking and cleaning for me when I was younger, trying to make me take part in activities to meet people, organizing my birthday parties, and so forth.
Now you might say well all kids are selfish by nature and parents DO for their children. I agree, but it was MY inability to reciprocate – forced or otherwise – that I regret. In my teens and early twenties I would just play games, masturbate to porn, never apply myself – grab food when it was provided and leave. I was failing university before I discovered NoFap, it was also around this time that he passed away.
The most haunting thing for me is that he was much older than most fathers at my age, I still remember him, quite frail and beaten down by life (hell maybe from the disease that took him) asking me to take him to an art history exhibit at a museum 45 minutes away and I said no. Later that afternoon I spent 3 hours watching porn…
I could tell my father had unconditional love for me, however I was, but it still haunts me a little bit that I will never be able to do for my father like he did for me. How utterly disappointed my father must have been – consciously or unconsciously – for in his last few years of life to see such a shell of a person as his own son. I’m at a stage in life I’d never thought possible before thanks to NoFap. But the real thanks goes to my father who taught me how not to give in. NoFap would have not been possible if I didn’t have that instilled in me.
Don’t let this post get you down, I just need to get it out of my system. but trust me when I say when someone you love leaves this world and you couldn’t rectify something important – it stings HARD. You all owe it to your fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, wives, girlfriends, children, friends…the world. Don’t just be a better version of you for you, be a better version for others. Quit porn and live your life.
TL;DR I’m sorry, dad…and thank you.
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