I stumbled upon NoFap in 8 march 2015 and registered at once because I was already looking for a way to quit pmo after I realized that I had a real problem there, both morally and physically. Before PMO, I used to do anything I plan to do and achieved big stuff, I got the first place in my country in the 9th grade exam. I knew the taste of fulfillment back then. After that I was introduced to P and kept PMO’ing for many many years.
Fast forward to 2015, I was at the age of 20, and a medical student. I think you already know what it means to be a medical student and highly addicted to PMO… yep, it means fail. I actually failed last year due to PMO. This shit is real!!! PMO consumed so much time not only while doing it but I also felt empty for the rest of the day and the whole day is wasted in vain. Not to mention the zero concentration I had while studying or listening to the lecture, and the zero interest in achieving anything.
As for the exams, it was the time I was vulnerable the most. PMO seemed like the best resort to run away from all that stress, but as soon as I’m done with it I look at my study schedule and realize that I won’t make it. Guess what’s next? >>more stress >>more PMO. My life was literally a total mess.
So I started this NoFap thing and I was more confident than ever and went on a 7 day streak. That relapse felt like the worst fail in my life, I was like.. how can I be so weak to relapse after I made a serious commitment to make change?! And eventually I started again. The next relapse after 14 days was very hard but not like the first one. Meanwhile I was reading some comments that say that I should not be hard on myself, and that’s what I did… for months! I got used to relapse. Oh, I just relapsed, whatever I’ll just reset the counter and start again. Most of the time I wasn’t even trying!! I don’t know how my mind tricked me to continue doing this over and over but it succeeded in fooling me.
May 2015, me and a group of friends found out the perfect opportunity to quit PMO for good, the month of Ramadan was coming in 18 June and we made a challenge not to relapse until Ramadan comes because abstaining during Ramadan is a piece of cake as we would be fasting anyway. And most of us actually did it! That was my longest streak of 80 days that ended up with a relapse that I will regret for the rest of my life.
After that relapse I freaked out so much that I considered that nothing happened, I just couldn’t imagine going back to PMO, but I followed it by another relapse that I didn’t look at either and so on… But I just got to say that I still feel the benefits of that streak and of the other streaks till this very moment. I can 100% approve that every little achievement counts, especially when you don’t binge PMO afterwards.
Now as you can see I’m not on a 90 day streak, but I definitely have some superpowers.
- I’m more confident than ever
- I can now speak in a conference in front of hundreds of auditors like I’m speaking to a friend.
- I’m also super social now
- I have created a club in my university and it’s the most active club there
- I can see everyone around me happy and enjoying having me around.
- I have defeated my worst enemy, laziness
- I no longer sleep 8 hours a day then feel sleepy during the lecture.
- I can sleep for 6 hours and have tons of energy through the day!
But the most amazing thing is that women are normal people to me now lol. Actually I’m no longer attracted to those hot girls with tons of makeup and tight clothes. There’s that girl that I’m really attracted to, she’s so smart and have the most beautiful personality ever, I didn’t like her for her outer appearance, I liked her for the sparkle in her eyes when she talks about something she loves, for the ambition she has, I liked her as a human.
But I do feel like I still have a long way to be completely clean of this addiction. I can still feel some impurities inside me, but I can say that I have everything I need now to go all the way. Now that I have experienced the taste of freedom, nothing and I mean nothing can lock me again in that dark cave.
It’s been a whole year since I joined this forum. It’s obvious that I’m not done with this fap thing yet but I wish some of you guys may learn from my mistakes or find anything helpful in my story.
See you all in march 2017 with a 400+ streak on my counter.
LINK – Joined NoFap 1 year ago
by Musta
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