Age 24 – Incredible drive, I want to illuminate the world

The best benefit of NoFap is the incredible desire to rise to the top – to the pinnacle. I have an incredible thirst to be elite – to be all I can be. I want to learn it all, see it all, do it all.

I used to have such a desire to compete and be A+, but that faded from YEARS of abusing my dopamine and feeling that I wasn’t “good” enough. As such, I settled into a deep groove of mediocrity I was only forced out of by the reminders of what was lacking in my life.

Now, I just want conquest. I have such a BURNING desire to be elite. I want to travel. I want to make millions. I want to connect with beautiful women. I want to be the top 1% in my field. I want to give back to the people that helped me get here. I want to illuminate the world…

NoFap will help get me there.

I was talking to a girl I knew in college a little bit ago. I asked her the standard question: “how’s work”. She said “It’s alright. It pays the bills. I don’t really care about a career, you know? All these people say they care about a career – but it’s just dumb. Just have fun.”

I cringed. I thought that was foolish. Your ability to learn skills and apply them is one of the only things that is “yours”. You can lose everything overnight, but if you have skills that people want and are willing to pay for, you can get it back and even more.

I don’t know about you, but I want a fucking career. I don’t want to be pushing pencils all day and being a servant because I didn’t decide to step up my skills. I believe her tune will be different when she has little ones who depend on her and can’t get the newest toy because she nor her husband decided to “become more valuable to the marketplace”.

No gossip. No negativity. No needless social media.

More focus. More discipline. More self-improvement. More expansion.

I hope you all want the same.

It’s time for you to look inside of yourself and step up to the plate. You can be more than you ever thought of being. You can have more than you ever thought of having.

If you don’t, you will see your contemporaries walk in the light while you suffer in the shadows alone.

My high school and college years were a haze of masturbation and marijuana use mixed with high degrees of depression, lethargy, and anxiety.

At the gym, I feel like a complete and utter savage. I easily move heavy weights and I am less tired after sets. I also limit my social media use to limit my anxiety.

I did not have an easy childhood, not by a long shot. I saw early on how important it was to make sure I have the means to live a good life. I really don’t care about making money for the sake of making money. Look at how many millionaires are on drugs and shit. Look at how many millionaires kill themselves. Look at how many millionaires are in chronic therapy.

I care about making money so I can provide for my future self and my future family. I care about providing for my parents in their old age because they won’t have the means to do it themselves. I care about being all I can be.

I’m not going to have the energy and drive that I have now when I’m older. I don’t want to regret it.

I’m 24, coming up on 25 in a couple months.

LINK – I want to be elite.

by rmarden

UPDATE – Guys, 25 and under – I have a message for you all.

I am now 25 years old. I look back on my life and I only have one word for it – regret. My story starts at about 17 years old, entering college for the first time. I was bright eyed, bushy-tailed, and I had a raging fire inside of me – determined to annihilate my schoolwork and have a great social life full of parties and girls. Unfortunately, college did not turn out to what I thought it would be.

I had no confidence in myself or my ability to have women attracted to me. I had few friends, but people generally treated me like trash. Girls didn’t have that “sparkle” in their eye around me, guys considered me a “beta male”. Didn’t help that I was 145 at 6 foot with an ego made of glass.

Of course, I was dependent on masturbating to pictures of women on my phone. No real “video” porn yet. I found porn somewhat disturbing and I liked the slideshow of pictures instead. I was doing this in full force, every day from the age of 15. It was a fun, harmless activity – then.

Soon thereafter, days after days after days of depression settled on me. It was like I was living for no reason. Everything had become dead. I wanted nothing more but to cry in a corner wishing I would stop existing.

I was SO risk averse to the point where I backed out of going on study abroad my junior year of college. I was going to submit the form I filled out on the deadline date but my hands froze when it came to the “submit” button. I couldn’t do it. I made endless excuses… too much money… what if something happens… blah, blah, blah. I now regret that decision entirely. Many of my friends said it was a formative experience in their lives, one they’ll always treasure. Now, who knows when or if I’ll be able to travel like that…

I of course, was kept safe in my cocoon at home with all the pleasures and comforts one could ask. Junk food…video games…and of course…porn. By this point, the pictures escalated into full blown videos.

Depression and anxiety escalated while my ability to focus was absolutely trashed…and I wondered why.

I came across NoFap when I was 22 after googling “sex transmutation” from Think and Grow Rich, a book I was reading. No wonder my college experience had been shit. By then, it was too late. I spent 2+ years attempting to get this down.

Where was this when I was deep in the depths of depression? Where was this when I was around a lot of young, single, and eager women? Where was this when I needed to rise up as a man?

If you have any doubt about what pmo has done, I’ll tell you:

PMO took away my drive, my confidence, my charisma, my willingness, my will, my focus, it destroyed my relationship with my parents, my early years, my potential relationships with women, my sex drive…

It took it all guys. Everything.

I could have been so much greater. I could have been living an enviable life. I could have had a great job, great girlfriend… I wish I never started this fucking habit. Now, I’m 5 years away from 30. I pissed away about 3 years in my early 20s hiding away from life when I should have been attacking it head on, punching it in the face with all I had.

For all you guys in your teenage years and college.. stop this shit NOW. Engage with real life. Put down the stimulation. Your future self will reap the actions of your past. Make sure its one worth remembering.

UPDATE – Long Game Perspective from 1000+ Days of NoFap (Tips and Advice)

I’ll keep this relatively short for what it is. On September 19th, 2017 – I masturbated for the last time. Since then, I have been on NoFap for 2, going on 3 years. My life has changed dramatically since then and is completely foreign to the life I was living several years ago. Over that time, I have gotten some insights into myself, human psychology, and how it relates to NoFap. I’d like to share them with you here.

My Background

I don’t want this to be a novel on my life, but I want to give you a brief background so you know where this is coming from. I’m currently 28 years old, going to be 29 in several months. I joined back in March 2015 after I realized I had a problem. At that time, NoFap subreddit had a little over 140k subscribers.

I joined because my life was in shambles. I found out about “sexual transmutation” from the famous book Think and Grow Rich and it lead me to NoFap. After a significant amount of retrospection, I realized I turned to PMO to be a “lubricant” to get me past the awkward period of adolescent socialization. It worked, it kept me on an even keel and kept me medicated in high school (went to an all boys school) and college (where I had no game and was an outright loser) in addition to lots of drugs. But then it (PMO) became a problem. It was taking more from me than it was giving me. I was 23 years old and I was behind my peers. I eventually committed in September 2017 to a full reboot.

Some Advice

At this point, people want to hear about the benefits. What benefits do you experience. Well, I don’t want to be a hype man, so I will remain silent on the benefits. They have been extensively documented here and on Your Brain on Porn, so I think they are irrelevant to mention. I will however, give advice.

• Rebooting takes time – This isn’t what you want to hear, but it is necessary to say. For most people, 90 days isn’t enough. In fact, 90 days is a short period of time. 3 months out of how long will you live? Eighty, maybe ninety years old? That’s nothing. Ninety days is just a start. That’s how long you can go before you can confidently say you can control your behavior. For many of us, this was a habit that was done every day for 10, 20+ years. It’s going to take longer than some 90 day challenge. How long? No one truly knows, but you’re not out of the woods until at least a year. Some say it will take up to 2 years to fully rewire and I can attest to that. Either way, realize 90 days is just a start – but it’s a strong start.
• Start taking action – Most problems in life would be solved if people created a system and followed it. How do you become a millionaire? You save 1 dollar a million times. Boom. There’s your million. How do you get to 90 days of NoFap? Don’t want porn or jack off today – do that 90 times. How do you get a girlfriend or sexual partner? You talk to women and intentionally ask them out until one of them says yes. The solutions to your problems won’t be solved by going on the Internet and just browsing the NoFap subreddit or reading a book. They only get solved when you fix them. There is no other way. I didn’t move out and across the country until I decided and took steps to make that happen. No one just bought me a plane ticket and gave me 10k and said “here, go live your life”. No, I had to make that happen.
• Stop caring about nonsense – What the external world will do is make you care about things that are pretty much irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. While you waste time daydreaming on Instagram, getting enraged about politics, constantly gaming and all this bullshit – someone out there is hitting 90 days. Someone is making money. Someone is getting social connections. Someone is building a valuable skill. Someone is upgrading their life. There are few things that are going to help you level up. Pay attention to those and ignore the rest.
• Set up for the next 5 years – The life you have right now is a direct result of actions you have done in the past. The life I had at 23 was the harvest of seeds I planted at 18 in college. The life I have now is a harvest of the seeds I planted at 23. I’m now setting up for the 33 year old me. What he is is what I am doing today. The habits I am building today. The mindsets I am building today. Sure, your future life might be the result of what you did last year or 2 years ago. But you are always setting up for a future you. If you’re fapping, watching porn, you are damaging the person you eventually will be and he will hate you for it. Don’t focus on the immediate benefits of NoFap or any lifestyle change. Play the long game and you’ll end up coming out on top.

That’s all I have. Below are some resources. I hope these help you. Good luck.

• Atomic Habits by James Clear
• Feeling is the Secret by Neville Goddard
• Andrew Kirby on YouTube
• Porn Reboot on YouTube