About relapsing, you may ask, “How the hell could you not be mad?” The 105 days I had were a period of absolute fucking enlightenment for me. AND I’ve developed my first crush / attraction on anyone since 2011.
I’ve realized what it is I want to do, it’s forced me to figure it out in attempt to not sit at home and inevitably lead to porn, the vital mistake I just made here today. One day I will reach 105 again, or should I say, 105 days from now, because that shit was damn disappointing.
Quitting has helped me think clearer and since getting over the hardest bit most of my anxieties and depression have subsided. It’s a wonderful thing and just one isn’t going to absolutely destroy everything. I’ll have to try my hardest from now on, because things will be bumpy for the next few weeks, but after that I will be clear sailing towards success as I near my 16th birthday!
I did it [relapsed] and of course I hate myself right now but I led myself into it in the first place. With the weekend coming up that means I’ll have to stay out of the house for as long as possible as my brain goes absolutely apeshit trying to get me to watch more porn. Sure it was just pics (not even full on nudity!) but “just pics” is still porn and I’m still in the same place I was on December 24, 2015. However, I’m not mad.
TL;DR Relapsing reminded me the only way to quit porn is to change your life entirely from how it used to be – something I’m beginning to slack on! With the much much lessened withdrawal I’m going to have after starting today it will only be easier after making it 105 days!
LINK – 105 and 2016 gone… but I’m honestly not even mad!
By aylamu
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