Today is my 121st day without P. Since late February I haven’t watched any kind of P. During the first 3 months I only had a couple of MO sessions. The longest I was ever able to go on hard mode was 48 days. Now I no longer see the hard mode as a priority since I never had any significant ED. But there’s a more important reason for this change in attitude: over the last 30 days I noticed that my P memories have faded almost completely. I guess this is because 30 days ago I decided to drastically limit all kinds of sexual fantasies as well as prevent all kinds of O, including wet dreams.
Although I’ve come to believe that brief fantasizing about women that you’ve seen in real life is natural, I don’t dwell on their images for long and I don’t fight them too hard either. I know that past generations have been doing so and they were fine. The few P flashbacks that I have from time to time I brush away firmly. In the early stages of my recovery, the harder I fought P flashbacks, the harder they fought me. So at the time I would just let them flow away by themselves. Now it’s different. Now I can afford to fight them hard and they basically can’t. They’re surrendering. They’re becoming faded and distant. No more urges! They all went away in a rather short period of time.
WHAT HELPED ME ON MY JOURNEY
Simply the notion that I’m moving into uncharted land is what kept me going and still is. The promise that something new is going to happen. When you relapse you go back to the same old place. The all too familiar place. No more moving in circles!
Another essential part of my recovery was the control of wet dreams. It turns out that 35 days without them brought me to a place I didn’t even hope to reach at this time. They used to be frequent and very hard to prevent. But I did it. I went five weeks without them and I am a new man. I know they’re natural but for me they were a problem since they always meant a sharp rise in my urges to watch P (they started the chaser effect like nothing else). They were always the reason why I would relapse. Now I feel with certainty that over the past months I have trained the region in the brain that can control them. Some 10 days into this experiment of NoWetDreams, when I was asleep, I was dreaming sexy stuff and I felt the sensation that it’s too late. An alarm rang in my head in the middle of my dream. The dream turned lucid and I held tight and prevented the O without waking up. When I woke up 10 seconds later my underwear was dry. Such a sense of victory!
Last night I decided to have 3 sessions of MO. Sometime in the future, once I’m done with my exams and my dissertation and once I have a stable job, I will try to go 90 days without wet dreams, without M, without O, without sex, and I’ll let you know of the results. I can confirm that the Taoists are right. Life without O strengthens your health, mind. It gives you unlimited energy and makes you very attractive to the opposite sex. In fact it makes you as attractive as a person can get.
However, you need to be in good spirits and a happy person, be fulfilled and in good terms with yourself, otherwise this will translate into an accumulation of negative energy that will torture you at a spiritual level, despite your physical health.
In the early stages cold showers helped a lot. Now I don’t find them that necessary anymore.
I also exercise. I like push ups and walking over long distances.
I really feel like I won the war against porn but at the same time I know that my recovery is not complete. I barely scratched the surface of what’s ahead of me. Or at least that’s how I feel.
BENEFITS SO FAR
When I look at myself in shop windows I am surprised at how healthy I have become. Used to be underweight. Now I don’t recognize myself. Physical energy is higher than ever before. Although mentally I’m still not what I want to be. I’m still lazy and lose focus easily. Keeping myself motivated is still hard, even though I have the next few years planned out.
Women’s interest in me is at an all time high.
LINK – The War is Over
BY – Arcturus
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