I was addicted to porn but I beat it with a simple two-step method that I have designed. Hundreds of former porn users are adopting this method and it works every time. But before I explain I need to deal with porn addiction.
Porn Addiction
I know porn addiction is controversial, but the release of hormones into my brain gave me a high. Denying porn addiction it seems to me is more a moral position. Morally you can be addicted to drugs, but not to something sexual like porn.
But like most drugs, as I watched more porn, it had less and less effect. So I needed more, more novelty. I needed to watch it for longer, until I got the same fix.
But like most druggies I was not a fully functioning human being. I was unhappy, depressed, avoiding life. Yet I know now that living life would have protected me from needing to view porn so much.
Yet the more porn I watched, the more depressed, unmotivated and unhappy I became. Which meant I needed even more porn to get even a small lift in my mood. The vicious cycle got worse.
I realised that porn was a crutch because I wasn’t facing up to the fact I had an addiction and that my life wasn’t good.
But I beat it. I realised that it was destroying my life. I didn’t go out so much. I wasn’t interested in getting a real relationship. I was empty and useless like most druggies.
How did I do it?
Two-step method
I realised that I needed to block the porn from my life and my computer but also to reset my brain, to reprogramme it so that I would never need porn again.
The Stop Procrastinating guide to beating porn addiction sets out some of the techniques in this programme but I want to focus on two of the most powerful today.
The first tool is the Stop Procrastinating website blocker. This isn’t a parental control – it was designed not to be that. But it is a blocker that was designed to build self discipline over time.
Why was this important?
Parental control software blocks websites all the time, but don’t do anything to deal with the underlying issues. I tried parental controls before. But as soon as I found a computer without a parental control, I would feel the same urges and go back to watching porn. The solution was temporary.
The Stop Procrastinating website blocker works differently. It builds your self-control over time so eventually you don’t need a website blocker at all. For instance, you can use it to block the Internet connection or the most distracting websites in a black list for periods of time up to 24 hours.
There is no password. It is not permanent. But this the most powerful part of it.
By disconnecting from the internet or porn websites for a short period, especially during the time when you are most likely to view porn, gives you the space to work on the underlying issues.
The guide helps you to understand your triggers and gives you techniques to beat your addiction.
For instance, I disconnected at the time of day when I was most likely to watch porn. During this period of time I used techniques set out in the guide. For instance, I used mindfulness meditation to help me rid myself of the urges to watch porn.
Mindfulness it the second powerful technique.
The technique focused on my breathing. When thoughts popped into my mind about the need to watch porn, I welcomed them and thanked my mind for it, and then went back to my breathing exercise. The powerful of this it not in the fact that your mind wanders, but that you are aware of it and bring it back to your breathing.
Research has shown that meditation changes the brain and improves your ability to avoid addiction and bad habits.
This exercise combined with the website blocker was the most powerful tools that I used.
The guide also created a plan that built alternatives to porn. This was important for me. It helped me create steps to build a new life for myself and to give me resources to build a new mind that was powerful to resist porn. It gave me self-belief that I was able to beat it, but not only beat it, but go out and meet new people. Take up pastimes that I would enjoy far more. To have a real rather than a virtual life.
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