My old self-image: Shy, introvert, not knowing what to say, don’t have enough status to talk to certain people, don’t have the right hobbies like movies or things to talk about in order to have fun, meeting girls and enjoying socialising is completely out of my reality.
My current self-image: Confident!, Introvert AND extrovert, can talk forever and love hearing my own voice, no need for status but that is when I paradoxically get it, I have unique hobbies that I am proud of, meeting girls and socialising is something I look forward to and it can happen at anytime (in a busy nightclub or even just a random on the street).
Last night: I was out in a karaoke bar and I talked to everyone and just had fun. I sang a song with an old 63 year old lady to then walk up to a group of 5-6 girls and having a blast. Then I went to a nightclub and in the line I was chatting up everyone and normally I don’t talk to anyone in the line! Went inside the club and meet a big group of people that cheer me on and tell me that I am awesome and I think “What really?”. I then tell my friend to point at any one in the club and I will walk up and talk to them. He points at a group of 3 girls and 2 guys, I walk up and after just 30 seconds I see the girls smiling and the men lowering their voices and acting like they had lower status and I am like (why?) and I greet the guys but then I start talking to the girls. 5 min later I am making out with one of the girls and motorboating her ( . Y . ) for fun and her friend push her cellphone up in my face and tell me to add them on facebook. My friend joins and whisper “Dude go for it!” and I am like “Go for what? OH RIGHT, the sex xD” These girls had to get up early next morning for work so the logistics for those weren’t the best and this epic night I actually ended up going home alone, but was very happy. AlsoI didn’t touch a drop of alcohol for the whole night (and probably still had the most fun there, well atleast it felt like it.)
Here is an embarrassing secret, I realapsed like crazy the days before this night. However, I still had the ability to change the way I view myself.
I could tell you lots of psychology theories and stuff now, but go ahead and look that up yourself if you are interested in books such as “Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz” but the truth is that theory wont get you anywhere, taking action and change the way you view yourself and therefore automatic behaviour will! And practical steps:
NO FAP is amazing it balances the dopamine levels in your brain to the point that you can just breathe and feel happy by that, if that little stimulation can make you feel good, imagine how good the stimulation of socialising can make you feel or just the feeling of hearing yourself talk. I can literally talk to a wall and have just as fun as talking to a normal person, but I don’t look for others to judge if what I am saying is good, I just enjoy the act of expressing myself. So do no fap to get a sense of what having ENERGY feels like.
Meditation is a practise of focusing your mind and an easy way to accept yourself, and when you accept yourself FULLY, no external forces can affect your mood. Well even if they can they don’t affect you to the same extent.
Action! Whatever you want confidence in, meeting girls, your work, skateboarding, ANYTHING, it is crucial that you take action and gather evidence to yourself and your brain that can make you believe that it is possible for you to change. Fear-exposure!
For example I stopped random girls on the street and started flirting and where as before I believed that it is socially weird, I now view it as weird that not all people do it! I get compliments, numbers, fun adventures and a high unlike no other. After that it’s extremely easy to walk up to someone in a club where it is socially accepted to talk to people without fear. In fact I do not even think about it, I just walk up.
There are other things that have a key role such as your diet, sugar and other drugs negative effect on your mood, but to keep it simple start with these 3 habits and I think the rest will flow from there naturally.
Now when I have gathered MEMORIES and built a positive SELF-IMAGE of what kind of person that it’s possible for me to be, NO FAP isn’t a necessity anymore for me to be happy.
Although in order for us to have FULL access to our memories, we need to be in a good state of mind, so when I am on no fap my creative thinking ability is out of this world and I have so much more energy that everything I express is so much stronger. And even though I had an amazing night yesterday and had a really hot girl throwing her number and facebook at me and getting approved and even winged by her friend, there was still no real DESIRE behind my actions, so I was a really cool guy, but I was not expressing sexual intentions. I didn’t even thought about sex until my friend mentioned that I should have so in reality I did not even wanted sex that night. Of course I can still fake the actions and leading girls home to have sex. But that would kind of be like forcing down a nice meal when you aren’t even hungry. Although I would not mind. But you see my point.
All right, I wrote this post to show you what’s possible if you just learn how the processes of how your own mind works. Yes NO FAP give us access to our best self, although that is partly because it is easier to believe in yourself while in that state.
Again I am taking no fap really seriously because that state of mind is amazing, I smile for the whole day and just feel like the source of positive emotions and magical things happen, but my point is believe in yourself right now anyway! And follow the processes that produces result (the actions to change your state of mind)
NO FAP – MEDITATION – ACTION (IN YOUR DESIRED FIELD) -> Reference Experience -> Self-Image – REPEAT
Peace!
LINK – Asexual, But Ladiesman
by Chris_93
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