I’d like to tell my story to those who are reading. I’m only writing this hoping to inspire you, main thing is DON’T QUIT, what they teach in AA is the only way to succeed and get clean is being absolutely DESPERATE to do so… When a friend of mine first told me of nofap (close to 2 years ago) i thought it was a fuckin joke.
Porn does what to you??? hahaha blah blah up until you actually read up on the material, then you begin to see that you’re not some unfeeling , uncaring monster that you thought you were…you’re actually a human being who hasn’t had a lot of luck and you now see the devastation of porn on your brain, tears then ensued from my face, much like everybody on here has shed.
So, the reboot began, only, I wasn’t clean from porn. I’d do the PM without the O, thinking that as long as I don’t cum id be fine and the reboot would still take place. I’d very much not really see the superpowers but marginally felt them. I wasn’t honest with myself, or my friend who was relapsing like a motherfucker. I’d tell him haa I’m still going strong! Only cause i wasn’t well, O’ing.
Problem was, i was still having bad luck with women, every time I’d get a number id put all my hopes behind the number only, telling myself its gonna be different this time around cause I’m a fapstronaut! didn’t make a difference, for many many months, these phone numbers led to nothing. I met one girl in particular who I’ve had rock hard chemistry with, something I haven’t had in years, thought to myself this is why it hasn’t worked out with the others, this girl is it! She will finally feel what a fapstronaut will give (emotionally and physically)
She flaked a lot on me. Only went out with her twice. I let her go, then a month passed and she contacted me. I got soo happy, we made plans then she flaked again. This whole time I was edging to porn, finally, it happened. I broke.
The lack of connection with women led me to relapse hard. Daily for about 4 months. I quit my nofap reddit because it became bullshit. I was reaching out to people on here and I’d get very little help, at the time a major topic was that users would only scroll through the “popular” section. Guys like myself would get little support and a lot of downvotes on topics that needed actual advice.
I spent maybe an hour in bed every morning scrolling for the best clip, had horrible communication skills with women and started “backwards dating”. That, is when you randomly start calling the girls you’ve dated before , or look them up on social media, and giving them another go. I’ve never liked them, and what it’s almost like telling myself you’re not gonna find a new girl anymore, this is it you’ve made it this far you’re not getting anyone new. Even went as far as looking up the ex, something ive never done before. It’s depressing as fuck, I do not recommend backwards dating.
So, go out with a girl I’ve dated before, had to explain why I contacted her again (awkward) then slowly (several weeks) make physical contact again. Guess what?? I couldn’t get hard again. Well i could, but the erection was weak. Only with oral sex I was able to maintain, but could not orgasm. All the progress I’ve ever had if any…out the fucking window. This was my fate…
Until I took the last stand. It was all because of a quote, on instagram (i know) The quote said “this is the last month of 2014, make it special” Early December 2014 till now, January 18, I’ve been a born again Fapstronaut. I’ve decided not to go on here looking for help, but to go IN here (my soul) for help. I had to become my own best friend, and tell myself that no matter how the outer world treats me, I won’t watch porn because of it. I’ve stayed clean, what helped me tremendously?
Salsa. Yes the dancing. In salsa, you’re constantly holding the woman, leading the dance, spinning her, doing those sensual light touches, and putting a smile on their face. At first I was shaking tremendously, here I am staring at random women, younger and older than me, and the pressure was entirely on me as to how the dance goes, took a while but once I’ve silenced the voices in my head I realized Its beautiful, its passionate and, once you learn, you’ll always get to dance with WHOEVER you want. Being a veteran nightclub hopper as well, I’d always make the gamble as to pay a $20 cover charge but never got to dance with anybody. Girls would push creeps off of them all night long then when a nice guy like myself would come along, most of the time I’d get pushed off too.
Salsa is different, it’s a friendly scene and the women are very exotic, always in heels and dresses. I was going for a while then i stopped in those dark 4 months of porn. I became DESPERATE to be clean, so i figured I’d go back to salsa and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. Im not even close to wanting to go back to porn at the moment, it’s like non-existent to me anymore. I know that I have a lot of sexual energy, so I have to constantly be placing myself in environments where I can socialize and talk to women.
I no longer freeze up around women, I feel somewhat comfortable now because I’m constantly touching and holding them in salsa. My teacher is incredibly beautiful and she’s teaching me technique for me to go wow up other women. Beautiful deal. Guys, from me to you, try it once. There’s thousands of other things to calm the monster in us that demands porn, but this is what I’m doing and I love it. Turns out my cousin dances salsa too, and pretty soon I’ll be going out with her and her beautiful friends for what hopes to be a great night full of dancing, maybe even more…
So, PIED? Right? Not anymore, just two days ago…I had sex. No not with a salsa chick, but with a friend of a friend. Hard as a rock. Not only that, but in this short reboot time I’ve met alot of women, i have 3 solid phone numbers that will lead to dates. Even if it doesn’t, the point is I won’t be awkward around women anymore because I stopped watching porn. Guys, I haven’t been on here for a while, but i just want to say that it feels good to be back. Despite what i said of nofap earlier, it has helped me alot, and I hope we can all help each other by not just sticking to the popular tab.
IF YOU’VE READ THIS FAR, FROM ME TO YOU, DON’T GIVE UP. DON’T GIVE IN TO THE PRE PROGRAMMING OF PORN IN YOUR BRAIN. YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE WHEN YOU’RE DESPERATE
EDIT: I can’t decide what’s better, being rebooted and having sex, or MAKING THE FRONT PAGE. Thank you guys, I only try to help. We are in this together! Choose love not porn!
LINK – Confession/Resurrection of a veteran Fallen Fapstronaut
by NuBreedXican
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