I thought I would share my story with you about this addiction and how I overcame it last year. I watched regular porn from the age of around 11-15, but progressed into Transexual porn, in what looking back reveals is exactly like this article describes in escalation. It became the only arousal cue for me and I lost almost all sexual interest in women to the point where even the vagina felt alien and even quite disgusting at times. I assumed I had ‘turned’ gay, but never watched gay porn and could never ejaculate watching gay porn.
So I then realized I must have been “Trans-Orientated.” I continued to watch transsexual porn and had sex with numerous trans women over the next few years and I am ashamed to say I basically used them for my own sexual gratification there was no ‘love’ or no ‘feelings’ there, they were basically just a way to get off for me it always felt so messed up, but I felt like this was the only way I could get my buzz.
After doing sex acts with them that would probably make some hard-core porn fans convulse, I had a small break down and looked online to see if I could find anything about this. I discovered various porn addiction websites and later your website ‘Reuniting’ and ‘Your brain on porn’ after reading the articles everything made sense and I had the lightbulb moment.
For the next few years I struggled to overcome what I now had realized was a pornography addiction, I eventually managed to go 11 weeks in mid 2012. The changes in not just my sexual fantasies but also my social life were astronomical. Not only did I lose my attraction to transsexual women, but I also developed an attraction for women that is stronger than anything I remember. Women are approaching ME for a change, it was absolutely incredible and I’ve loved every minute of it.
I’ve since had several great relationshipsand never felt better about my life, everything fits into place now, I don’t need porn anymore and I’m certainly over my transsexual porn addiction. I am so happy now. A lot of it is a blur though, kinda like it was a dream in a way.
Also, to all those HOCD guys out there, here’s a quote that will some up your situation in a second: “If you THINK you’re strait, you’re strait.” And that’s from a Gay therapist who helps guys with HOCD, so try to stop worrying!
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