My porn addiction had escalated to the point where I was using 2-4 times a day, I had intermittent delayed ejaculation problems, and my sexual interests morphed (I thought I was bisexual when I am actually gay… haha the opposite of what usually happens I know). I knew I had to stop completely. I read The Power of Habits and then Your Brain on Porn, and that was all I needed.
I knew from the beginning I wanted to distinctly separate porn and masturbation from my mindset. For eight years I had almost exclusively masturbated to porn, and so I wanted to make using porn and masturbating two separate actions in my brain. I decided to start a 90 day reboot that involved no porn, internet or otherwise, but I would be allowed to jerk off whenever I wanted (the first few weeks I would lock myself in the bathroom with no devices around just to be safe).
One thing that was crazy to me was how much my libido dropped at first. I got no erections at all for the first three days, which was insane to me since I had always considered myself (and still do) to be hypersexual (just in terms of hormones and genetics). That was a big sign to me that I was doing the right thing.
For the first few weeks I jerked off about twice a week, then my hormones came flooding back and I was doing it twice a day again. I realized this might be a little too much for me for the sake of my reboot, so I decided I would limit it to once a day, if not for anything other than to keep building that willpower muscle.
It’s now day 56 and I am so happy I gave up porn, and also so happy I have totally changed my relationship to masturbation. I don’t use it as a coping mechanism for stress, I do it for the same reason I eat chocolate cake at a birthday party, because I enjoy it.
I should mention that I would not have succeeded without a strong meditation practice. I had been meditating daily for about fifteen minutes at the time of me starting my reboot, but as my willpower has grown, I have strengthened my sitting meditation as well as my daily mindfulness practice greatly. I went on a Buddhist retreat and that also was life-changing (even though I’ve been a Buddhist for five years now). I am now meditating for an hour a day, 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes at night. I am the most in control of my life I have ever been, and I am so happy about it.
I also use the app Momento on my iPhone to have a daily check-list and also to journal every day (it’s important to do it every day for the first 90 days I think) about my journey. I talk about any cravings, musings, successes, etc. It’s a great way for me to get to the root of my cravings, and it also gives me something to do if I ever need to release my sexual energy and I have already masturbated that day.
I know this post is very long, but I wanted to be extra thorough to describe all that helped me succeed. All of my cravings are manageable, quick to come and go, and actually now are almost exclusively around masturbating again and not even porn. 56 days ago I never would have guessed.
I wish you all much success, and am happy to have joined this community. Please let me know if you have any questions.
By happybuddha
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