Unlike drugs or alcohol, porn flashbacks can hang around in your mind after you stop using. So what do you do when one pops up?
Below are a couple of techniques, but first let’s discuss masturbation. Also listen to my radio show – Brett explains how to cope with porn cues and sexual tension (show #21)
This short video has a few tips – How To Stop Porn Addiction By Managing Cravings And Urges, by Truth of Addiction.
If you are trying to free your sexual arousal from porn images (which is a good idea if you want to find real partners more arousing, or regain erectile health), do your best to masturbate (when you must) without using porn or flashbacks. This gives your brain a chance to weaken the connections that are triggering the flashbacks.
Focus instead on the physical feelings. Be sensual. Take your time. Luxuriate in the good physical feelings. Do not fantasize. If you must use an image, consider thinking about a real (and realistic) encounter with someone you know personally. For more, see How do I masturbate without porn? (and the article under that page). If you can’t climax this way, your body does not really need the climax; “learned” cravings are driving you.
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General info about rewiring techniques can be found at Rewiring Your Brain. For specific techniques, see:
Also, here’s a technique from a forum member, which you can use to prepare for future flashbacks. You need to do it while you’re feeling calm. Then you can use it when flashbacks arise the next time.
Suggestion from a forum member:
Focus your attention on something peaceful. It could be a peaceful place, a picture of something beautiful like a sunset, or whatever. Doesn’t matter if it’s real or imagined, since your brain doesn’t tell the difference anyway.
Make sure you do this with a playful attitude, like the way children do. Take the a few seconds to do each of these steps:
1 – Take a deep breath all the way in and out. At the end of the breath, slowly say the word ‘peace’ to yourself in a peaceful manner
2 – Now imagine seeing something peaceful. See what it looks like
3 – Hear what it would sound like
4 – Feel what it would emotionally feel like to be there
5 – Also get physical: Breathe the way a peaceful person would breath
6 – And change your posture to a peaceful one. Sit or stand the way you would if you were at peace
7 – Again, say ‘peace’ to yourself slowly, and recall what you see, hear, feel emotionally, and get physical with it.
8 – Repeat step 7 (or 1-7) a few times to reinforce this feeling
You’ve just created an experience which you can use to your advantage.
Whenever your mind stirs up a pornographic image, interrupt it with a deep breath in, out and say ‘peace’ in the exact same manner and again, get physical: Sit or stand the way you would if you were acting the role of someone at peace, breathe like a peaceful person.
This will cause your mind to focus on peace. It may not immediately remove the pornographic image if the ‘peace’ isn’t strong enough (though it often does, or at the very least it weakens the pornographic image), so just repeat the word ‘peace’ several times over and see the peaceful image, and recall what you heard and felt (and get physical too). This will reprogram/recondition your mind to focus on peace instead of the pornographic image. Remember, you must say it the way you did in the above steps.
With enough repetition, the pornographic image will cease, or it will almost automatically trigger your ‘peace’ response which is still better than trying to ‘fight’ the pornographic image. Basically, this is a way to ‘hijack’ your brain so that every time the unwanted image pops up, it leads you to peace, which eventually fades out the pornographic image altogether.
Whereas the pornographic image would lead people to beat themselves up as they’re trying so hard to remove it, using the above technique allows you to weaken or remove the image altogether which leaves you in a far more resourceful state. Hope this helps!
Question on nofap/reddit. Follw the link for suggestions
How to delete porn inside your head?
I’ve failed nofap countless times because of this. I see some progress because I feel zero desire to watch new porn videos but the old videos that I’ve watched in the past are the ones that hunt me every single time.
I don’t wanna sound like a whiny bitch. So I know that the solution is to not give in to the desire but that advise obviously doesn’t work because I keep failing again and again. My record is nine days but most of the times I fail at day 2,3 or 4. Is there anyone with this exact same problem? And how did you overcome it?
I’m tired of this porn addiction.
One man’s experience with return to balance
Yesterday, I felt fantastic.
As I mentioned in the last post, I keep getting distracted by girls, even while I am with my girlfriend. For the many years that I spent watching porn, seeing beautiful girls wouldn’t trigger my desire to go talk to them, or to fantasize about them even, but only to get home as fast as I could to watch porn. I guess it would be like smoking a cigarette after smelling some smoke.
Now, I think I’m feeling progressively different about the girls I look at. The images of their bodies really stay in my mind. They are getting as strong as the flashbacks I used to have from porn, or even stronger. Although this is a craving, I can’t help but think that this is a good thing. Seriously, I didn’t feel any need to watch porn these last 18 days. I block any flashback the second it shows up in my mind. The flashbacks rarely trigger any ecstatic response from my body, but even if they do, I can block that too.
And yesterday I realized I could do the same about the girls I saw. I felt it was an option to look at them or not. And I made the option not to look – because I don’t need, nobody needs to fantasize to any images in their brains. We all need to have a fulfilling sex life, that’s what we need.
So, yesterday I felt I was in command. I could make the choice: to think, or not to think, to look, or not to look, to orgasm, or not to orgasm. I don’t now if this feeling has come to stay, but I think it’s a good reference point for me to keep. Even if I relapse, I’ll now that at some point, I had the control.
“Flashbacks” aren’t the only kind of intrusive memory
A guy said this on the forum:
Another thing I noticed over the last few days and weeks is how dangerous and subtle triggers can be. For example:
a) The singer in the radio sings a certain passage (let’s say for the sake of example the neutral phrase “Let’s go, Let’s go !”). When this passage reminds me of a dialogue I once saw in porn, the scene is immediately there (at least a thought on it).
b) I hear/see the name of certain countries, continents or citys in the TV/the radio/the internet and … the scenes/pages/memories are there. As you most likely know, there is an exact categorization in the porn world, maybe things like “Brazilian Girls”, “Amsterdam Red Light” or whatever. Consequently, as soon as I hear e.g. “Brazil”, I remember certain scenes and think: “Hey, what about page xy … ?!”
Even more bizarre, sometimes I can’t even identify the trigger clearly. For example, someone was using the absolutely neutral term “Frau” (= german for “woman”) recently and my mind was instantly: woman = fingering, g-spot, squirting, orgasm … bla bla. That wasn’t the first time, that happened and that really scared me …On some days I nearly can’t think of woman in general or specific, without thinking dirty accordingly.c) Strangely enough, even myself talks stupid porn stuff, sometimes. I don’t know why that is, but it can be, that I drive in my car and just for the sake of acting silly, I imitate certain phrases from porn (some porn scenes are even made like a comedy, so you remember exactly the shit, they were doing and saying. Maybe it’s even a kind of trademark for the actors and producers).
I guess, the main thing is, that you identify these triggers and then stop them. Of course including the talk of double entendres and the silly porn talk. In my experience, especially these two behaviours lessen in a matter of about 7 days, which is a good thing.
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