Comment: This 20-year old young man wrote us to ask if we would post his recovery account. We don’t know if he has also posted it elsewhere. It’s inspiring!
Day 1
After reading the amazing testimonies on the site yourbrainonporn.com, I finally am motivated to give no PMO a shot. I’ve also started this journal the first day into my No PMO journey, and the reason am doing this is to document my progress. I’d love to see a stark contrast between my life on No PMO and before I started it.
Hopefully, this will also serve as a testimony for others. I started watching porn at age 15, and ever since, I can’t seem to shake the habit away. At age 24 I don’t have a girlfriend, and I struggle with anxiety in a way that is close to crippling.
I sweat profusely in public, and my self-esteem is at an all-time low. I burst into sweat during presentations, and after that i feel nervous. Later in the day I resort to PMO and fall asleep. It’s crazy. I’ll admit I find it hard to approach girls, and the few times I get a chance to talk to a girl, I get paralyzed, and it’s awkward, and I tend to stay in the room afterward.
God! and when given an opportunity to talk to my friends, I fumble with my words almost as if my brain can’t quite make connection of what am saying. Some days that I PMO a lot, my family members can notice it, especially my mom. She quite sensitive. At one point She asked me whether am really drinking enough water because my eyes were sunken and black. Of course, I do drink water but I suspect the issue is PMO. The hours I spend on laptop watching these stuff is also ridiculous, and causes this effect of dehydrated person. I don’t do drugs, just PMO but man it’s all like someone on drug addiction!
Honestly, I have the gut feeling it’s porn that I am watching and excessive PMO that has caused this. I can’t wait to transform from this person Ive become. Ill share my genuine progress unfiltered. I’ve always used porn to cripple my anxiety and to suppress any feelings of stress or discomfort. Sometimes it’s the opposite, when am over excited I PMO. It only makes me feel worse afterwards. Among my top goals in this journey is to:
- To reclaim my self-confidence.
- To be able to Communicate articulately.
- To attract girls easily and be confident in myself
- To be able to channel my energy and learn a new skill
Day 7:
It’s been seven days since I started my no PMO journey. I had a wet dream that genuinely annoyed me. I am starting again. This time, I want to minimize these wet dreams, although I read on the thread that at my age of 20, they are natural. But I want to reduce them even if they are natural. Yesterday, my 6th day was a significant milestone, as I completed a week of NoFap. It never happens in my case.
Somebody complemented me today that “I have balls”, whatever he meant by that I’m pleased to hear that. I took my friend Alex to school, and my confidence and calmness when walking is unbelievable. In the, past I would have been so self-absorbed and uncomfortable. I would avoid avoid eye contact with anyone. But yesterday, I noticed a subtle difference. I was in my own skin when waling.
Day 10:
If there’s anything I can note of this day is that I don’t care much about girls, I’m just in my own skin. I mean in the past i was a nervous wreck always trying to impress girls and be someone I’m not. Later I would probably fap to release the pressure from trying so hard. I feel confident today. Also, my close friend came to the flat and said my face looked bright. Deep down, I suspect it’s the journey I’ve embarked on.
Day 12:
Am noticing a huge positive shift on the level of my confidence. At the shop i also bumped on this lady. She appears fourth year, she was in formal attire. I couldn’t care less. For unknown reason am not thinking of sex or anything, i just feel normal and in my own skin. Reflecting back on my days of PMO, I could have already burst into this nervous guy who could barely speak in front of a woman. But now, I feel calm and confident without the constant distraction of sexual thoughts
Day 15:
I felt a little depressed today so i took a walk to the market and bought the vest and perfume i needed. Surprisingly, all were cheap. For some reason i feel a sense of self love and comfort in my own skin. I want to look and smell great for myself, not to impress anyone else. Previously while on porn i couldn’t care less about my hygiene. It’s crazy. Ive also noticed that this week i bump into girls like it’s second nature. I mean its like they have become frequent suddenly. Why was this not the earlier? On my way home from the market i also bumped on this girl. I’ve seen her before in my neighborhood but never talked to her before let alone asking her name. Anyway, having bump into this girl, I asked what’s her name, to which to my surprise she replied with a warm smile. Emily. Looking back at this It’s interesting how my interaction was natural. I mean in the past that couldn’t have been me. Me asking a girl her name? Never me. I could have stooped my head low and gone the other way but there i was almost like second nature talking and caring less whether she replies or not.
Day 25:
What a day! Everything is okay, i keep bumping into girls like crazy. I can’t explain what’s happened to me. What the hell has taken control of me? I walk fearless and i find it hard to be intimidated. It’s like I am on some drug. This is my 25th day on No PMO, and now am starting to believe what many have been reporting on their testimonies. It’s like once you tap into this stuff you just bump into girls even without trying. It’s like some force is fetching ladies and pulling them in your direction. Like the literal definition of a Magnet. Its true guys , Yup you just bump into them more frequently as compared to earlier when i was craving to meet them.
Day 26:
Today, I had the pleasure of giving a compliment to my neighbor, who lives across from me (not on the left, but in front). It was heartwarming to see her chuckle and know that I could brighten her day with just a few words. Yup i told her straight to her straight she’s one of the cutest ladies. Truth be told, sometimes after complimenting a lady am like “Oh my God! did I just say that?” Like, what the hell has taken control of me? I didn’t plan to say it, it just came out naturally. Trust me Prior to No PMO, i would find it hard to express my feelings, let alone feeling safe in my skin. And I don’t know the limits of this.
Day 27:
Today when i was returning back to my house, a lady couldn’t take her eyes off me. Jeez! It’s like she saw a celebrity because her face was all painted with a smile. I would have asked her name and number but by then for unknown reason i didn’t care. It’s like I’ve lost interest in chasing ladies. Okay, I am not that handsome just average or fair; deep inside, I know it’s just the No PMO glow and confidence radiating off me. And this is not me bragging; I swear to God! And my left neighbor seems intoxicated with my compliments. LOL. Each time I lock eyes with her, she blushes and looks away with a smile. She probably thinks I am in for her. Nah, I just feel like being normal and giving compliments wherever it’s due. As i arrived home from market this evening, i bumped on her again with a mini skirt exposing her robust cleavage. But for unknown reason it’s not much of a deal to me now.
Day 30:
As I continue my journey on No PMO, I notice that my natural horniness has become more apparent. It’s like a switch easily activated by scents, clothing choices, and other triggers. The other day, a lady asked me where I had been that evening. Without even realizing it, I found myself responding in a seductive and deep tone that is often used in intimate settings. My eyes were drawn to her skirt without any conscious effort on my part – it was almost comical. And this isn’t an isolated incident; these types of reactions seem to happen without me actively trying.
Day 35:
What a crazy day! I woke up early, took press ups, and went for cold shower. Then put on my best clothes. Bro, that tornado thing got activated while I was heading to the library. I started attracting girls in every direction I moved. At one point, I found a girl walking toe to toe with me. Jeeze! As it we are partners of some sort yet I didn’t even know her. She kept walking in sync with me for a long while before she turned to go. While taking a seat at the library today, I had an interesting encounter. This lady kept staring at me with a wide optimistic eye, so I decided to confidently take a seat next to her. I have never done such a thing before, as I always feel too shy and self-conscious to approach someone like that. But something about being on No PMO has given me a newfound confidence and boldness. We ended up having a great conversation and exchanged contacts.
Day 36:
It wasn’t much of a busy day and i didn’t do much walking either. My voice is deep especially after eating groundnuts. I talk with deep voice so effortlessly. My courage is almost close to madness. Yes i still on a bump into girls left and right and my confidence is at the roof top.
Day 38:
Yea at this point, am i right to say that i am a magnet? I don’t know, man. But one thing I notice is how girls seem to be drawn to me, sometimes even staring at me without blinking for more than five seconds. It’s like I have some kind of mysterious pull on them. And it doesn’t stop there, in classroom they also seem to flock around me like butterflies swarming around a flower with nectar. Just the other day, while in group discussion this girl was literally leaning on me while making her point. I couldn’t help but feel a small sense of pride that she seemed to be drawn to me in some way.
Day 40:
This morning, I woke up to fight feeling PMO’ing my way to my desired future. My mental state was not in the best shape. I forced myself outside the bed and took a cold shower. I unexpectedly ran into a girl at the shop and felt an instant attraction. I have a natural ability to flirt without even trying. It seems like every day I find myself chatting with girls. It’s rare for a day to go by without catching the attention of a new girl.
Day 45:
What a day! The day was relatively low-key, but my confidence is still strong. I wonder what it’ll feel like if I break my streak. I went to check on Alex’s health as he was sick. Anyway, nowadays, I’ve learned that my energy is also dynamic. One moment is full of laughter the moment it’s warm, aggressive, quick and no nonsense. From today I’ll lean to flow with my energy.
Day 48:
Today, I was confined to my house, intensely wanting to reconnect with my inner being. My goal is to retain my semen for an extended period of time, as I have seen the benefits of this self-control practice.
Day 50:
The past few days have been such a rough ride. First of all the wet dreams want to become frequent, and i suspect stress level related to money are the culprit. I want to make it a point to retain my semen steadfastly till the 72 days hit. Secondly, self-control was our goal, and I am noticing myself losing track of that.
Day 51:
Is there a day i don’t meet girls who flirt with me? Yesterday two girls came from nowhere and flirted with me. At the shop too. I wonder what they see in me. I also realized that my energy levels affect the way i interact with others and how people perceive me. It’s important to be aware of our own energy and how it can impact our daily interactions.
Day 52:
Today is October 27th and my goal is to break the habit of wet dreaming. From my perspective, the only solution for controlling fantasy urges is to practice disciplined No PMO. As in the days i don’t fantasize, i find that the mind is clear and the body feels rejuvenated. Instead of seeking shortcuts or quick fixes, no PMO (no porn, masturbation, or orgasm) is the top priority and everything else can follow from there.
Day 55:
Yesterday was a weekend, and I ran over this girl I had met at a party. She was so happy to see me, and was curious to know my where i stay. I was not horny at all, and I didn’t even care about her body, yet she was flirting with me. I don’t know what she sees in me, but I invited her to my house.
We had some drinks and talked for a while, but I didn’t feel the need to make any physical advances. I thought she’d leave in a few hours, but she lay on my bed, unwilling to go back to her place. We ended up making physical advances, but after that, I felt guilty and regretful. My energy was drained and i felt like i broke my streak. Yet again part of me regretted nothing, it felt good to make a milestone that was once crippled by my porn addiction.
Day 60:
Today marks 60 days of no PMO, and I feel proud of myself for reaching this milestone. But at the same time, I am reminded that this is just the beginning. Breaking a habit takes much more time and effort than forming one, so I know that it’s important to stay vigilant and continue practicing abstinence. I have also noticed positive changes in my interactions with others – My voice is deep, the timbre of my voice is almost musical LOL. i am more confident, present, and able to connect with people on a deeper level without the distraction of sexual thoughts or urges. It’s just amazing.
I urge anyone who is struggling with porn addiction to give this a try and see the positive impact it can have on your life. Keep pushing and stay strong because, in the end, it will all be worth it.
Day 65:
Good hygiene
Constants are: Cold shower, push-ups, Proper meal, Proper sleep, Proper Time allocated for Money Matters or else stress will eat your energy.
Boosters: Open body postures open your chest look up ahead. Work on self-control using Cold water and breathing. Take risk frequently (break out of comfort zone). Do what you love at least every day it feels you with positivity. Girls will notice you quickly don’t ignore throw positivity through smile.
Solidifiers: Daily Meditation before sleep
Day 70:
It’s day 70 and i feel like a completely different person compared to when i first started this journey. I feel detached from the shackles of most drama and negativity that used to consume my thoughts. My view of the world was starting to shift- probably as a positive result of no PMO, or maybe just the act of self-improvement itself. I feel detached from the drama of the world, I see the world in a different light and question things that I had never thought about before.
Day 72:
Mmh, it’s another crazy day, my tornado has successfully activated. I call it tornado because the magnetism activated is like a storm brewing within you, pulling you towards your goals. It’s unstoppable, powerful, and full of energy. I see girls attracted to me everywhere. I don’t know what triggers this stuff. At some point i think it has to do with detachment. Like when I walk, I don’t think “where will I get a girl or where will I flirt with girls?” on the contrary, I feel a sense of inner peace. My hygiene has improved remarkably, I smell fresh orally and physically. The trick is to reach a point where you don’t worry about girls. You also don’t think about sex at all.
I’ll continue updating my progress….
Tips
Don’t give space to fantasy. If you are interested in a girl, go and actually approach her. Don’t chat or plan to chat with her on social media. That’s bollocks. Make a real connection.
- Refrain from sexual content as much.
- Do something you love each day. If you love playing chess, then play chess.
- Keep your room tidy 100% of the time.
- Wake up early do push-ups and go for cold shower.
- Your body hygiene & oral should be maintained at all times, smelling nice is a must.
- Have a confidence diary, where you jot down what fears you faced today.
These few rules worked for me and so will for you. Remember, the top most important thing is to avoid PMO as best as you can.