It has been nearly ten months since I found this site and started my reboot. I went through a phase of 4 months with no PMO, then a second phase of random PMO with some binge episodes, then the third phase was a 3 month stint with no PMO followed by a binge. Currently I am back at week two. Here’s what I have learned.
1) Porn is addictive, duh?
2) Edging to porn is nearly the same as orgasming to porn. The dopamine spikes are just as strong.
3) Eating habits greatly affect my vulnerability to view porn or doing other unhealthy activities like watching TV or surfing the net all day.
4) Relationships and finding healthy activities are necessary to fill the void.
5) Abstaining for long periods of time without orgasming is not the goal, at least for myself. I don’t planning on being celibate. Instead, I’ve been working on paying attention to how I feel. Sometimes a release feels natural. The big thing for me is to do it without porn or fantasy. I realized that fantasy was a big reason why I felt a need to release. This time around I’m working on not fantasizing either. So far I’ve felt much more balance because of it.
Compared to where I was before all this, I have made great strides and things in my life are changing for the better. Pre-abstinence I was masturbating to porn once a day on average. Little did I know what I was doing to my body and my mental state. I really didn’t see the connection or maybe I was just blind to it. Regardless, my mental state has improved and I feel less anxious. Even when I do go through the hangover period, I know its just for a while. As well, since I don’t orgasm too often, the hangover period feels foreign at times.
Moving forward I now have the knowledge of porn addiction from a scientific perspective and a personal one. I am saddened that our society has been misinformed about porn addiction and masturbation addiction. I wish I had been educated on this at an early age. But moving forward, I am an adult now, an educated one. I am free to make my choices in life.
Porn addiction, along with all the other addictions out there, is not about controlling one’s urges. It’s about making a choice. The question you must ask yourself when your faced with this choice is this, will this make me a better person? Yes, it is easier said than done. Through my experience I’ve opened the wrong door many times, and each time I chose the wrong door I learned from it.
BY – vm22
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