Hello, its been 210 days since my last wank and I think I owe it to this community to report my experience because the advice and the insights that others have posted have helped me reap the benefits of this strange anti-habit.
I sort of started nofap without realising this community existed. 7 months ago I was painfully aware that every time I had sex I could almost never cum and would lose erections when the clothes came off almost 50 % of the time. This was embarrassing and demoralizing and made me question my sexuality quite a lot. This made me resent sex and resent myself.
I had a feeling porn was responsible because put simply, when I was in a girl, I couldn’t feel anything and just got bored. I started masturbating less frequently and jacking off when I did to playboy pics, nothing hardcore. I remember looking in the mirror and saying to myself, “are you who you want to be or are you a wanker?” The honest answer was that I was, literally, a wanker.
I like to research things online. Sex, philosophy, politics, science, there is a chance I have wikipedia’d it but it came to me that I had never really looked up masturbation as a habit and understood it objectively. I thought it was just normal practice, until sex, the real thing, came along.
That’s when I discovered Yourbrainonporn.com. Suddenly it seemed so clear and obvious, the thing that resonated with me most was how deathgrip wanking desensitizes your penis, it explained why I could get hard around girls and still not really feel anything in them, because I was used to jacking it at full speed, squeezing it like hell, my hips thrusting into a loose pumplex couldn’t compete.
From that day until today I haven’t masturbated. I was becoming one of those guys who just doesn’t have sex and I couldn’t let that happen. Although now, looking back, the reason for not wanting to be one of those guys is because sex is a maturing and gratifying experience when done well, rather than worrying what others think of me.
I can’t really remember how each month differed from the next so I’ll just try and sum up the benefits of the experience as a whole. It’s been so long since I’ve been in that dazed post-wank depression that I’m not sure what’s a benefit and what’s normal life any more but I’ll give it a go.
The main benefit has been a massive lowering in standards when it comes to women. In my porn stage I used to watch films from the 70s and 80s and think ‘how did those good looking guys get with those average girls, who sometimes don’t have big boobs or a big arse and just looked pretty normal naked’. Its a sad fact that I conditioned myself to be attracted to unnatural porn star sluts. I wish I had started nofap in school when I was about sixteen, because I know I missed opportunities with interesting and smart girls who weren’t the best looking in the world but we had a connection anyway. If I had then the sexual maturity I have now I would have had a lot more sex, but more importantly, my sexual relationships would have been personal, happy, learning experiences with girls I liked as people, rather than drunken one night stands with random club girls that were unfulfilling.
A second benefit is the hold it has given me on my sexuality. I have some odd quirks when it comes to what turns me on and they made me feel depressed and abnormal when I indulged in them. I used to think I could never be truly honest with people about who I was because these quirks defined me and I was always hiding my indulgence in these abnormal things. Now, because I do not indulge on them, I have control over them and am exploring a new side of my sexuality that I have no reason to be ashamed of because it is with other women who want to sleep with me as well, rather than with my hand and the computer.
Crucially nofap is allowing me to be that person who I always saw in the distance but didn’t know how to reach. My deviant sexual quirks and lack of success with women had caused me mental grievances that held me back. Now, I pursue activities that I would have lacked self-confidence to do and have the self-respect to do things well and to my own standards of morality.
Nofap may not work for you, I really can’t say. I was seriously addicted to porn and masturbation, the unconditioning of my penis and mind took about five months, thats when I had my first wet dream ever. After six months of no PIV or MO I had sex with my current girlfriend. It wasn’t smooth, I lost the erection and we had to talk before I felt confident enough to start again but then the sex was great and I finished in her. Now I rarely lose erections and finish every time, but this shows that even if I had never wanked or looked at porn I still may have had anxieties with sex. The fapping and porning just delayed the time it took for me to confront those anxieties.
Thank you, the nofap community! I am only posting my (very long) story so that it may hopefully encourage other young wankers to break the habit that may be holding them back from good sex and a healthy mind, because so many that I read helped me do the same!
TL;DR Porn may raise your standards to a point where sex becomes boring and tame. It shouldn’t because sex is fulfilling and maturing and porn will leave you feeling guilty and depressed. Are you a wanker?
LINK – NoFap, what it did for me and what it could do for you
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