I would like to report how my life has been throughout these past 90 days without fapping. Let me start by saying that I have been struggling to keep a streak going ever since I found NoFap in 2012.
It took me around two years to get to this stage as 90 days are the highest amount I have ever been to. What made me get to this point is my promise with GOD. 90 days ago after failing yet again with many attempts behind me I broke down in tears. I made a covenant with GOD to never to it again and this is my way that keeps me going strong. Does this mean that I don’t have urges? No, the urges are there and recently I was surprised by a urge so great I almost fapped. However I reminded myself of my promise and soon my mind accepted that I cannot do it.
Well enough back story for now, here are the changes that have happened:
- Extremely social, in the past I had no need whatsoever to have a company of people around me. I was fine being by a small group of friends, however, now I am talking to almost everyone I meet. I have made many new acquaintances and friends at school and I’m talking to people left and right with ease. I used to have a problem with this but my classmates have named me the most social person in class. And I don’t even have Facebook or twitter haha.
- Talking to women, because I’m not fapping anymore I am more pro-active when it comes to women. I made many conversations with women and I feel very comfortable around them. I can’t speak for anyone who does nofap but for me my Alpha-male instincts take over. Somehow, somewhere I need to engage with women if I see them. So far I have engaged over 30 women. I’m a religious man so I’m not out for sex or a relationship but I just have this urge to speak with them and to get closer to them, and so far it’s going very well.
- Better focus, I have found a new focus in everything that I do such as school, work, life, etc. I plan, I plot and I think much more. I’m at peace with everything in my life and I want to become the best person I can possibly be. I’m not stuck anymore with the constant guilt of the filth that I used to do and watch. This may sound archaic but I have regained my honor, my pride and my glory.
-I See women for who they are, porn is such a disgusting device and such a destructive drug that it completely destroys your self-image and that of women. I no longer see women as some animals only meant for my pleasure, rather I see them as human beings who are to be respected and not be lusted after 24/7.
- Clear conscience,
Truth be told above all of the benefits I have mentioned this is the one that is the most dear to me. I no longer am disgusted by myself and no longer am I a slave to the creation of wicked minds. When I remember the sick things that I watched with my eyes tears start to flow. I recently found pictures from when I was a youth and I thought to myself: If only you would have known how sick you would later become. I am free at last. I truly and sincerely hated myself for what I did, there were times when I tried to choke myself out of sheer anger because of watching sick and disgusting things. Now all of that is in the past and I have forgiven myself for my mistakes. God willing I will never ever masturbate and watch porn. I plan on marrying soon so I can have my desires fulfilled in a permissible way. To conclude I’ve waited for so long to say this and now I can finally say it, may GOD help me say this for the rest of my life:
I’m free.
LINK – 90 days report
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