I masturbated to pornography at least every day from age 12 all the way to 90 days ago. I was addicted – no doubt about it. But I did not know at the time. I think I knew in the back of my head that something was wrong with what I was doing. I think we all had that inkling, but we pushed it aside. I mean, everyone masturbates to porn, so it can’t be bad, right?
That’s what we would tell ourselves. But when I came across this sub 90 days ago, my view changed almost instantaneously. Finally that inkling in the back of my head had some evidence. I watched all the videos, read all the threads, and I came to the conclusion that pornography was an addiction for me. So I decided that from that day forward, I would never masturbate or view pornography again.
And now here I am, 90 days later, PMO-free, never having relapsed once. I’m not here to brag about how I ‘beat’ my addiction without relapse. Hell, I’m not even sure that I’ve been rid of the addiction. I’m just here to show you that it’s possible. I’m just like anyone else. You, too, can stop. You don’t have to relapse. You can defeat this addiction.
Since everyone who ‘completes’ the challenge usually posts a list tips/pointers, I figured I would as well. Remember that these may not apply to you, as everyone is different.
- This is NOT about gaining benefits or ‘superpowers’ – I’ve experienced none of them other than the inherent ones (i.e. more free time). This is about not being addicted anymore. That’s it.
- Don’t listen to the people who say, “If you do/don’t do X, you WILL relapse.” Everyone is different. This excludes things like edging or inherently sexual actions as that in itself counts as a relapse.
- You don’t have to be religious to do NoFap and this sub has nothing to do with religion. I’ve seen a few religious posts and I hope that those don’t scare other non-religious people away. If religion helps you, that’s great. And I’m not saying ‘don’t post religious stuff’ as that can still help others. I’m simply reaching out to the atheist/agnostic/un-affiliated people here who may be off-put by the religious posts.
- You don’t have to do the extra stuff (exercise, meditation, etc.). It helps A LOT – it really does, but don’t let that scare you away. NoFap is about quitting your addiction. It’s not /r/fitness. Again, I’m not saying ‘don’t post exercise stuff’; I’m just stating that you don’t have to work out to quit masturbating to porn.
- Sometimes NoFap can be cringey, I know. But that doesn’t change the fact that this is a caring and dedicated community with a GOOD goal. Some of the posts and comments make my face tense up from the cringe, I won’t lie, but most of the content on here is well-intentioned and it actually helps people.
- You don’t have to quit video games, TV, or the internet to stop masturbation. Sure cutting back on those things can improve your mental health if you’re using them excessively. But if you’re like me and you enjoy playing some Civilization V with a couple buddies, there’s nothing wrong with that. Or if you watch The Walking Dead every Sunday or the new Samurai Jack every Saturday, there’s nothing wrong with that. And without the internet you wouldn’t have NoFap, and you would still have porn in the form of DVDs, so the internet is not all bad. Like I said before, using these things in excess can be harmful, but if you access them in moderation, you’re fine.
- The most important thing is that you must recognize that pornography is an addiction. It should disgust you. Porn objectifies women and men and can numb you to real sex. You’re constantly searching for that better high, just like a druggie. I found myself spending more time searching for that perfect video than actually masturbating. What is that teaching my brain? It’s teaching it that I get to choose the best sex whenever I want. That’s not normal. Sex is an intimate thing with someone you care about. Even casual sex with someone you know is better than porn since you don’t scroll through hundreds of women to find the best one. In essence, pornography isn’t natural or normal. Of course, natural/normal does not necessarily mean good and artificial/abnormal does not mean bad, but porn is an addiction. It’s not hard to see that.
- You can do this. You can quit your addiction. The urges don’t end, as sexual urges are a part of human nature. But you can stop the abuse of your brain’s reward system. You’ve evolved into a conscious being with free-will; you have the ability to overcome any mental obstacle. You’re more than a mindless being stuck in an endless loop – you are a person with dreams and aspirations, and you WILL achieve them if you work for them. Quitting porn won’t solve all your problems, but ending the cycle is a giant step in the right direction. You don’t have to be addicted anymore.
You are who you choose to be. Choose to be someone without an addiction. Choose to be someone who achieves their goals.
I’m 18.
The ‘inherent’ benefits I was referring to are: free time, less objectification of women/men, no more of that sickening feeling after masturbation, and simply not being addicted.
LINK – 90 Days after first discovering NoFap
by sethel99
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