7 months ago I had hit rock bottom. Loneliness, anxiety and lack of confidence had driven me away from friends, family and my true self. At the time I usually masturbated to porn 3 times a day, a for me all time high consumption that had gradually increased since naive little me discovered the “wonders” of porn around the age of 13-14.
I had since that discovery gotten my sexual stimulation from it more or less regularly. I first discovered Your Brain On Porn/NoFap after one of my daily sessions of virtual sexual stimulation when I noticed that I wasn’t as hard as I usually would be nor was I equally excited. The more I found out about YBOP, the more I understood what was happening. Porn had become my source of stimulation for both sexual satisfaction and happiness. I was an addict.
With that realization I decided to give hardcore mode a shot and it was by far one the hardest yet best things I’ve ever done. The first weeks was the hardest. With raging cravings, complete and utter brain fog, decreasing confidence and overall happiness as well as brutal mood swings. My porn-wired – now unsatisfied/dopamine deficient – nervous system turned me in to a complete wreck. About a month and a half in the dreaded flatline hit me fast and hard. Libido was non-existent, I felt unmotivated and unmanly, my penis seemed to shrink and the anxiety was worse than ever before. But through what I had learned on YBOP I kept going and I eventually got through it. I later on ended up meeting a girl, who is now my girlfriend, that turned out to be a great part in my reboot. In the beginning when we fooled around, I never went past just kissing and touching since I knew I wouldn’t be able to perform and thought that if I would tell her about YBOP/NoFap and my reboot she wouldn’t understand. WRONG! After the first unsuccessful attempt to have sex (good ol’ ED) I told her about it all and to my complete surprise, she both listened and supported me.
By now I started making serious progress, urges were going down, my nervous system slowly rewired itself to respond with arousal to touch, smell etc. instead of just to the cold light of a computer screen. As my mind got clearer, my confidence greater and my social anxiety diminished. I realized how lucky everyone is who has decided to embark on this YBOP/NoFap-journey. Three months in now give or take, I saw major improvements. I started getting REALLY attracted to normal girls and they started becoming more attracted to me. I started getting more looks and smiles while walking down the street as well as more female attention while at parties. I felt great. Not only that, shortly after noticing these improvements, I had the best sexual experience I’ve ever had. Not only was I hard and horny, I was calm (no performance anxiety, an old buddy to good ol’ ED) and present. It was passion and pleasure like I’d never felt it before during my years of screen-jerking.
I am now about 7 months in, and even though i consider my reboot to be complete (I feel no desire to watch porn, jerk and all the symptoms of the addiction are practically gone.) I still continue with a lot of the things that YBOP/NoFap prescribe. So to summarize: it’s not an easy path getting rid of this addiction, but once you get to the other side of the tunnel, you feel better than you ever thought possible. Totally, 100% worth every second of flatlining, anxiety and craving! Just keep at it and I promise you it will get better!
Things that helped me during my reboot:
Daily Qi Gong & meditation – Those things are the shit, couple that with some binaural beats (google) and you’re on to some powerful/awesome stuff
Regular exercise – Find a program/routine that fits you, it helps lowering the cravings as well as improving your confidence once you start seeing results of it.
Girlfriends/Girls – For some of us this might be something that’s easier said than done to get into our lives. But I truly feel it’s been an essential part of my reboot. Firstly to rewire my extremely messed up nervous system but also to lessen social anxiety and improve confidence. Just focus on improving yourself in every single way possible and this comes natural as a result.
Elliot Hulse’s youtube channels – An amazing and inspiring man that has helped me in many situations during the reboot. Look some of his stuff up and guarantee you won’t regret it.
Bio-energetics – Funky sort of exercising/stretching, look it up on Elliot Hulse’s youtube channel.
Reminding yourself of your progress -Write down a note on your phone, by your computer or one to have in your pocket that remind you what you have accomplished and what you want to accomplished. How you are for every day a bit stronger, one day further away from your old self! Keep yourself motivated!
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