January 29, 2013 – Hello, mates! Well to start out I’m a white European male from Bulgaria, 20 y.o., 1.70 cm high, 70 kilograms – physically fit if I should say, blond and blue eyes – not bad looking either.
I do sports every now and then: jogging to the park, there I do street fitness workout (pull ups, push ups, dips, etc) then I do some more jogging mixed with 10 second sprints (heard it boosts testosterone) on the way home, and every now and then I go to the fitness to do some weight lifting (I’m getting a new bike soon, so I’m thinking of adding it to the mix).
I am now second year in college where I met my beloved girlfriend. We’re in the same group studying “Librarian and Informational Sciences”. Unfortunately the economy here is bad and I have too much to study for my finals atm and too much stuff to do, to get a part time job so I’m still living with my parents :-[, but I’m planning on changing that as soon as we graduate. As I was saying… I’m pretty broke atm.
My whole life I’ve been interested in computers and technology (like my dad) and I’m something like the neighborhood technical support ;D – people often call me for help with their devices or an advice on buying something new/upgrading, but I never took money for my help unless I needed to buy a new part or something else in order to repair the computer. And I love rap music ;D (as you may have noticed from my avatar). Enough about me, let’s get down to business.
~~How it all began~~
Well… I’ve been jerking off for as long as I can remember. I believe I was 12 when I did it for the first time :-[. I didn’t have a computer back then, but we used to exchange video tapes that we recorded from late night TV or some bought straight from the store with all kinds of P. The feeling was so good that I used to do it very often (not sure if every day). I was never the loser in the group, I always had good friends and was always the funny guy. I’ve always dated some quite good looking girls, I might say my first love hit me when I was 13, but every time I went out I couldn’t wait to get back home and start masturbating. All in all I had a good childhood filled with good friends, parties and love sensations, but I always masturbated so damn much (with or without P).
I got my first computer with Internet access when I was 14 and it just got worse. I was sitting home wacking it off sometimes even 3 or 4 times a day to all kinds of P :-X. I started with Straight, then Lesbians, then Asians… all in all I’ve seen a lot. The last time I fell in love was when I was 16, I was still a virgin and somehow when I was in a relationship I didn’t feel the urge to watch porn. I mean, I masturbated of course, but it wasn’t that often like when I was single. Since she left me I returned to my natural ugly habits of PMO’ing and shit just got worse and worse. P, Video Games, School, Bad grades, Alcohol, Weed… that was all that was happening by that time.
I mean sure, I still had friends, still went to parties and shit, but I just wasn’t that social like I was before. I watched so much porn, that I got to the point where I couldn’t get it up even to the nastiest shit. That was the time when I got really worried and so I went to an urologist, who told me that the cause of my ED is all in my head and blah-blah, we’ve all heard that shit a million times.
My libido – dead, urge to chase girls – none, feelings – none, I can’t remember the last time I had morning wood. I started dating this chick from my class 3 months ago and we fell deep in love. She was actually giving me signs before, but I was too desensitized to see them. We had sex on day 30, actually I lost my virginity to her, but the sex wasn’t what I’d expect it to be. I wasn’t 100%, I was something like 70%, the feeling was numb (makes sense right, it’s not my hand after all) and I came for like 5 minutes 😮 I mean wtf. The second, the third and the fourth times were even worse – troubles getting it up, couldn’t keep it hard to put on a condom, she has to give me a handjob to get it back up. My girl was even more upset than me, she taught I’m not attracted to her, which is not true! I’m in love with her and honestly, judging on her outlooks I think she could become a model.
Anyway time passed on, I googled everything ED related (I even thought I was gay for a day or two :-X) until I found YBOP and thank God I did! Everything made sense now… Why else a healthy, straight, physically fit 20 y.o. would have erectile problems!? Lucky enough, I have a loving and understanding girlfriend, so I grabbed my balls and explained to her why am I in this current condition. She supported me and we tried it!
~~My first try~~
D.D. from day one… no life downstairs at all and some major headaches took over. On day 7 I had about 20% morning wood! I can’t remember the last time I had morning wood, I was shocked!!! Day 8 – 30% morning wood, adrenaline rush all day, my mood was superb! (unlike the depression I was in before) heart was beating like crazy, I felt I can take over the world! Day 9 – same morning wood, I stopped forgetting my words!!! Usually in my past when I was in a conversation if someone interrupted me, I immediately forget what I was gonna say, now I didn’t! Day 10 – well, my girlfriend came to visit that night just to watch a movie and we end up having sex. I wasn’t 100% erect, came too quickly again and some mad depression took over after that :-\.
~~So here I am now~~
We fooled around Saturday too, so I consider Sunday my first day of no PMO. I’ll start posting from Day 1. I’m very determined to succeed and get my sex life back to normal, and you all seem like a nice and supportive community. Since I can’t share this with nobody else, but my girlfriend I just felt the need to join you and battle this porn addiction together. I am never going back to porn or masturbation again!
LINK – [H0P3’s Journal] White Male, Age 20
BY – H0P3
Done! I’m Cured
August 07, 2013
Ok, so it’s been almost a year since I started, right? I’ve been away for some time, yes I know, sorry. It’s just that… life hit me hard and I had no time to think about porn or any of this. So I’m not getting into any offtopic details, but I’ll try to be as short as possible.
Well after no PMO, I tried no masturbation at all, even no sex (seriously, my gf went crazy, but she stayed and supported me… Ill never forget that)! Nothing helped, I was frown, always stressed, always depressed, scared in bed and even scared from sex, and honestly I taught I’ll never get it up again. To top it off, I don’t really think I had a porn addiction, but this whole community and no PMO helped me a lot. I started going to urologists (even to the best in my country) all saying I’m perfectly fine and my testosterone levels are great, no nerve damage, no blood circulation problems, no nothing, they all told me it’s all in my head.
You know guys… when everyone tell you it’s all in your head, and after all this on the age of 20… you just… you know, you give up… you start believing that. I started smiling more, being happy and the support from my girlfriend helped me a lot. I had sex regularly ad I mean some nasty sex… I just flipped everything around you know, now I just see her naked, or she just kisses me, or just lay next to me and I’m always hard! I have more confidence, I workout more, always help around the house, even my friends see the change in me, I mean… it’s like this whole thing never happened. My libido is raging! My morning wood comes and goes (who gives a shit, anyway). Sex is awesome, everything is so sweet and I’m just craving for it, you know? Porn isn’t as half as good as sex is and I never had the interest to look at porn again! Shit, I don’t even masturbate (kind of hard if my gf isn’t coming over any time soon, but I just deal with it). My life turned around, I’m just a happy man (or sex animal 😀 now).
The trick is to know that there is nothing wrong with you and to stop thinking about it… don’t even come here, screw the forum! Come back when you’re healed. For me, well… I had a lot of other problems on my head and I just stopped thinking about this (ofcourse there’s a little fear every now and then and during sexy time) but I overcame that too. Now I’m even making jokes about it (with her offcourse) it’s just a thing of the past now.
Thanks to everyone! Just… thank you, couldn’t have done it without the community.
This is my last post my brothers, I owe it to you! Farewell and keep fighting!
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