I figured I’d share a bit of a success I’ve had that I never thought would get here. I had sex for the first time since 17 last night! (I’m now 20)
For a little background, I’ve been struggling with PMO addiction on and off since the age of 15 and it wasn’t until last year that I admitted to myself I had a problem. I remember bringing a girl over to my place to have a one night fling and having that night end in sheer embarrassment. Couldn’t get it up after multiple attempts and the girl ended up pissed, thinking that I thought she wasn’t attractive enough. I remembered seeing the TED Talk about this group and decided to join the battle.
So my first embark on the NoFap challenge lasted until the beginning of August this year. Made it to a 57 day streak, but my gf at the time decided to break up with me and I lost a bit of control. Things just spiraled back to where they were as I never managed to get things functioning correctly with her and had lost a bit of hope. However, I got back on the horse in late september, and haven’t fapped since November 13th.
What’s happened since then has been a struggle, but a worthwhile one. I stumbled upon one of the greatest girls who was also very into me, but I had a lot of trouble getting her to commit to a relationship (just got out of a huge one). Eventually, after I told her I don’t just want some loose relationship, she came back a week later and told me being open wasn’t worth not seeing me anymore (which felt pretty awesome, btw).
We had our first official date later that week. Everything went pretty smoothly, and we had a little bit to drink afterward. Things started to heat up and in the back of my mind, I had a worry that the package wasn’t going to be hard enough for sex. Surely then, we end up both naked on the couch just sitting there in disappointment at the fact that I’m still half-flacid. I put on my underwear and we spend the rest of the night just cuddling, while I continue to get little jabs about how I was unable to perform. She was unaware of what I had been struggling with and didn’t realize it wasn’t just the alcohol.
So days later (last night specifically), she texted me that she just got out of a movie with her friend a couple miles from my house and wanted to come spend the night. I said sure of course and after a couple hours of netflix in my bed, our kisses here and there get to be pretty intense so we turn everything off. I’m now very nervous again because I know where this is headed.
Finally, she says she wants me to stick it in. I tell her I need to get a little harder and so she gives me head for about a minute. I slip the condom on and as we try to coordinate things, it starts going limp again. The constant theme of disappointment makes another appearance. At this point, she rolls over and says “..are you sure it’s not just me?”
I say “absolutely not.. I’m not sure what it is..”
After a couple moments of awkwardness, I hop back on her and inform her I’m down to do other things. She just shakes her head and tells me she’s not in the mood now. Just like the girl from about a year ago, she’s convinced that it’s all her and I spend the next 10 minutes trying to convince her that’s not it at all. I get over how embarrassing my problem with PMO is and begin explaining everything to her so it can all make sense. Eventually, she says she believes me, but now her minds on all her flaws so she still isn’t in the mood.
I feel really bad now and I ask if she wants to talk about it. She whispers “kind of” and ends up telling me all of her flaws. As she starts listing them off, I go to the lights and make her show me all of them in an attempt to show her how I see her body differently. I compliment her on everything she tells me and after we finish her list, she insists I tell her my insecurities. We end up having this awesome talk that lasts about an hour and at around 3AM, her mood finally seems turned around.
We turn out the lights to go to bed and I sense a bit of a sexual vibe on her end. I start feeling around her body and slowly slide my hand down her waist. We start making out while my hand is deep inside her. Without even realizing it, I’m now harder than a rock. She feels it up against her side and stops me. “..You wanna try it again?” No longer worried about my embarrassing story, I say why not. I grab another condom, have her put it on for me to keep things going between us, and pop it right in. And from there began a night of beautiful sex :’)
Hopefully, that was at least entertaining or inspiring in someway. I definitely feel more confident after last night and I thought it might give hope to others struggling with the same thing. Comment if you have any questions or wanna share anything. Thanks for reading.
LINK – Success Story (PIED Conquered @ 47 Days)
by Melicertes
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