I am a 20 year old guy from India. I have been PMOing for over 3 years 3-4 times a day to CFNM and Femdom porn until one day I realized I have been cheated. Life hit me on my face. My soul was stripped. I had lost all hopes from my life. I relapsed a couple of times until I decided on September 1, 2013 to fight for my life. I pour my heart today. This is the wisdom I have acquired over the roller coaster life of past one year.
I feel that I am blessed that I fell into this trap . **YES PMO IS A TRAP**. It promises happiness, contentment, joy. But sooner or later one realizes that all these promises are mere illusions. It tricked us. We were made fools of. We were mocked.
Wise men of all the ages have known the nature of lust. Type lust on Google and click on the Wikipedia link and read it. Every religion warns us of the deceitful nature of this monster. It’s like a rat trap, one gets attracted to the taste of cheese, but the moment it tries to eat it.SNAP. Darkness. Truth slaps you on the face.
But as I said, I don’t consider myself a victim anymore. I am blessed that I experienced all this at such a young age once for all. I hit my rock bottom, the moment there was nothing left for me to lose. I was stripped of my dignity, my pride, my joy my life at once. But as they say **OUT OF SUFFERING HAVE EMERGED THE STRONGEST SOULS, THE MOST MASSIVE CHARACTERS ARE SEARED WITH SCARS** – Khalil Gibran.
Yes I am blessed because god chose me to go through the most intense suffering possible on earth. (The suffering cause by lust). This introduced me to the illusions of this world. This made me strong. This made me look for answers. This made understand the meaning of life deeply. This made me understand that I am made in the image of God. This made me anything is possible for the man who believes in himself. Man is the creator of his destiny. Man is the architect of this universe.
Now that I am understanding the truth, I will make the rest of my life the best one. I’ll be a millionaire. I’ll drive Lamborghini. I’ll live in a huge mansion. I’ll be famous. I’ll be the Champion. I’ll be one of those human dynamites that have always inspired me, that seemed to me gifted. **But I will live by some unbreakable rules.** No lust being the prominent one. I’ll have sex with only with the girl I truly love, my wife. I will not smoke/drink/drugs they are also illusions similar to sex. I’ll be grateful for whatever I have.
As it is written in the Bible ” First seek the Kingdom of God and his righteousness, then everything will be given to you “. No matter what happens I will not give up righteousness, because I know the price of this mistake.
Time to live life. I feel glorious. This is my last post on this community. Sincere Advice : This is the test you have to pass. Don’t be a coward the monster namely lust is just an illusion of you mind. Show it what you are made of. Defeat it. Conquer it. Destroy. A happy, joyful and successful version of you is waiting for you on the other side. PERSEVERE.
Some Do’s : MEDITATE at least 20 min daily. Cold Showers. Self Control. Modest Diet. Set goals in your life (Fitness, career ) and work towards them.
Some Important Readings : A Happy pocket full of money (David Cameron), The Secret, The Slight Edge, Psycho Cybernetics, How to make friends and influence people, The Bible, The Bhagvad Gita.
Read about Buddhism and Hinduism. Learn Yoga.
Life is full of beauty, joy and prosperity once you learn to control your mind. Mind is a beautiful servant but a cruel master. Learn about the illusion of the world. Cultivate self control. And a whole new world will unfold to you. Comments are welcomed.
LINK – One year wisdom. This might change your life.
By – bej7
UPDATE – Why I fapped after 375 days of NO PMO.
So I relapsed after an year of nofap, i have mixed feelings right now.
The Good Part: From the childhood i was attracted to femdom and CFNM porn. The so called ‘vanilla sex’ , ‘boobs’ etc never really aroused me. For the 4 years of my addiction all i fapped to was femdom, CFNM, cuckold porn etc. However after an year i believe that my mind has rewired itself like a ‘normal man’. What aroused me was Kate Upton’s photo shoot videos on youtube. I felt like a man again. When I decided to fap, i thought i was not doing anything wrong because at the end of the day what i wanted was to rewire my mind.
Throughout my reboot i have experienced various benefits everyone knows about. However one thing still used to kill me from inside was the doubt whether my sexual taste would ever change. I doubted whether I will be aroused by a beautiful woman for what the world calls normal sex. (Penal Vaginal Sex). After that fap all my doubts are finally cleared. I feel confident and fulfilled now. I don’t have words to communicate how accomplished I feel today, heaviest burden from my mind is relieved now. For the first time I feel like a real man . (Only those with similar fetish problems will understand).
The Bad Part: I want help from those who have relapsed after such a long streak. What Can I expect now ?
I have experienced a hell lot of benefits so far including sharp focus, improved memory, brilliant grades, better confidence, general happiness, deep meditation, no social anxiety, positive and passionate attitude, enthusiasm towards life. In short my life was completely on track. (Except for the doubts about fetishes which are cleared now.)
I want to ask to what extent these improvements will be affected. Will the depression cycles again start ? Will my concentration reduce ? Will the social anxiety return? (I meditate daily, take cold showers and workout 3-4x a week).
To Clarify, I am not masturbating again ever nor do i plan to watch any obscene videos. My doubts regarding fetishes are 100% cleared now.
I request suggestions and views from fellow members. Thanks for reading.
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