So I started this journey over 3 months ago now. It does seem like a lot longer. I started it because I started going out with the girl I am currently with, and was unable to perform sexually. Well good news guys, I can now have sex at will. For all of those who are suffering from erectile difficulty, this does work if you stick at it.
The journey is not all rainbows and lollipops though, and just by doing NoFap, you won’t solve all of your life dilemmas. However, this process gives you an opportunity to address issues that your porn problem has been masking for years. Just recently I’ve recognised my overwhelming fear of commitment. When it first reared its head, I thought I had made a mistake with my girlfriend. But I haven’t. She has stuck by me through this process, so she is worth her weight in gold. She is kind, funny and gorgeous.
Unfortunately, the fear of commitment leads to me searching for flaws where there are none, and then justifying this to myself. I had a long distance relationship two years ago that ended miserably for me (I put a lot of effort in to it, she ended up saying there was never a relationship, because she had been sleeping with other people, despite the fact that we skyped daily. The writing was on the wall as the contact slowly tapered off. She came to my city, refused to see me, then slept with my friend). Since then I took everything so casually. Casual sexual encounters (obviously unsuccessful). I’ve also recent lost a close family member. This in particular was quite ineffectual at the time, but I’ve cried over that loss during the NoFap period.
And now I’m here, stressing for no reason, feeling trapped for no reason. I’ve considered breaking up with her. But I know how awful I would feel, and I do not want to lose her. It’s not even deep down that I know that I love her. It’s very close to the surface. But there’s this obvious disconnect between my feelings for her, and the concept of ‘forever’ and the idea that I’ll just mess it all up.
But it took strength to get this far, so I’m not going to just throw away someone who cares so deeply for me because of my own personal crises. NoFap has shown me that if you want something to happen, you can’t just stand by idly. I’m going to address this fear of mine head on, with a mind clear of porn imagery.
Keep fighting, NoFap. It’s worth it.
by MenaceTheAK
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