I thought I would share my experience as someone who cured their worsening ED, addiction to porn and increasingly hardcore and novel porn viewing habits without counting down days.
I never seriously considering going back to porn, despite watching it since I was around 11 regularly, until I was 22, so 11 years.
I had up until a few months ago worked my way up to needing to view hardcore porn, from femdom, strapon stuff, femdom that involved forced bisexuality but also straight hardcore stuff, anything new could stimulate me for a while.
I had noticed for around a year (since I started seeing my girlfriend) that I was wanking multiple times a day to hardcore porn, yet my dick was not really hard, it was soft at the tip and only barely hard on the shaft. Yet this did not stop me from masturbating and reaching a very sub par orgasm, 3-5 times a day.
Yet when I tried to have sex with my girlfriend, I was constantly trying to fuck her with a semi limp dick, I would have trouble cumming at all, I told her I think I am desensitized due to masturbation and porn, I tried to quit about 6 months ago, when my father died, but even then I had not been ready to quit porn and went right back to it.
Yet when I really decided to quit there was no doubt in my mind, I had a moment of clarity, I was a major procrastonator, I was a major confrontation-phobe.
Wanking, watching youtube videos until 2 in the morning when I had to be up to start working out at the gym before work at 5, avoiding hard work and slipping back into the insidious pit of distraction, all these meaningless addictions offered.
The wake up call was ringing a woman who enjoyed domination roleplay and doing some hardcore sexual things for her over the phone, I could barely get a semi.
Even the hardcore most disgusting fetishes now were not stimulating, plus I was having phonesex with someone I didn’t care about, when the prior day my girlfriend had been down but I had passed on sex and secretly masturbated to pornography, leaving her sexually frustrated and confused.
I had a long shower and searched into my soul and asked who the fuck I wanted to be, from then on not masturbating was incredibly easy.
My girlfriend know the exact date as I messaged her on it saying I was done with both porn, masturbation and I was serious about it.
All I know it is well over 3 months, I have found the previous times I tried not masturbating I was counting, this almost guaranteed failure for me, I would get neurotic, obsessed, defeated the purpose of the notion of the challenge.
After 3 months of no porn or masturbation but regular sexual acts of all kinds with the girlfriend whom I can only see at the weekend:
Erections are back to 11 year old hardness, massive veins, hard tip, can get it hard by imagination, I can actually feel hard muscle and ridges of definition, it does not compress like when I was addicted to porn and masturbation.
I was good in bed while I was working with a broken penis and sexual appetite, I regularly made my girlfriend who is what is known as a squirter, reach orgasm, through intercourse and oral. However now it is incredibly easy for me to make her achieve orgasm, 4,5,6 times and because it now feels incredible for me too, after my penis has had time to soften and sensitise again, it is far more sensual and we feel far more connected.
I orgasm quicker, this is something I am working on, it is amazing though, how good actual sex feels, I could not even stay hard from oral sex before, not I can orgasm regularly from them, which in turn makes my girlfriend want to try more stuff. Our sex life is getting incredible.
I still think from time to time of my favorite porn scenes, I still get turned on if I think about the hardcore fetish porn I used to view. But I simply have started laughing at how stupid it would be to trade in an incredible sex life with a woman I love, for some unfulfilled, increasingly less appealing scene on a screen.
I am moving in with my girlfriend into our own place, I have also started getting in shape with the short term goal of doing a toughmudder in september and the long term goal of joining the Royal Marines.
My advice to the guys who are just starting or are constantly failing would be this:
- Do not count, save the date you started to a draft or something, better yet tell someone the date and then forget it yourself, counting the days might be great for some people, but in my opinion, if you really want to cure ED and addiction you need to see it as forever, instead of counting days, you need to be sure it is something you have given up for life, so why count everyday and compound the pressure?
- Get a girlfriend, Use dating sites, approach women at social functions, having a sexual partner makes you want to be normal, functioning, just like having a child to support makes them give themselves a kick up the ass to start figuring out a way to provide, having a sexual and emotional partner makes you have a real, tangible reason to correct the deficiency in is department too.
- Realize how soft and pathetic being a slave to porn and masturbation makes you. The epitome of first world problems. people struggle to eat, to avoid death and to make the best of incredible, seemingly insurmountable odds, yet a bunch of us first world white kids are acting as though it is so tough to simply act like men and stop doing overtly harmful and negative shit. Man up and get accountable while it ius still possible to turn things around.
Anyone can quit this, it is all a matter of first searching deep (usually only possible after a low point and moment of clarity), identifying the damage engaging in the act causes and finally identifying why and who you want to change it for and what goals and accomplishments you want to fill that hole with.
This is just my story, I thought some people might appreciate an outside voice who came to the same conclusion as the group here did, however had some slightly different thought of how to heal the mental and physical resistance to healing yourself.
Good luck and happy Christmas 🙂
LINK – How I have cured my ED by quitting porn and masturbation (no counting, sex with girlfriend)
by JoeyKhan
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