Well I posted one yesterday, and I got some answers and I’m thankful but I still need help. I’m gonna fap really soon, and probably to porn, unless I get some help.
Well I reached 90 days on hardmode, took me over a year of doing nofap on and off to do it but I did it. I’ve gone 30something days, 60something, and 86 was my best record before this. The reason I always relapse, and the reason I want to now, is because eventually I get selfish and simply want to get off and feel pleasure more than I want nofap. I miss that feeling, I’ve been having sexual dreams every night, I got my first blowjob but couldn’t cum because I was drunk, and it was extremely hard not to go jerk off to finish, and I just want that feeling.
Benefits I’ve had are, better working penis, I can actually get hard to the thoughts of women…that might be it, shit. I brought home a girl who I didn’t really find attractive and would of lost my virginity to her if she wasn’t on her time of the month, I woke up very thankful that I hadn’t…the only reason I did this was because I thought of her in a purely sexual way, she was coming on to me so I took advantage of that to do whatever, I didn’t even know her or find her that attractive. I don’t blame nofap, but I do blame how insanely horny I am. I’ve been going to the gym and being more active but I think quitting weed did that more, nofap hasn’t added to my life so much as it’s removed my addiction to porn. But here I am, still wanting it. I want it so damn bad. To be honest I want to M more than I want the P, but I don’t think I have the willpower to be able to do pornfree and get off without it. I would like to but I just don’t think I can.
Tonight I’m going home to my parents house to visit them, and some friends. They have cable and I always used to PMO to the light night channel that plays porn. It’s gonna be there and I’m gonna be drunk and it’s gonna be really tough not to watch that. If I had a girl I wouldn’t care, I’d be able to hold off until I could just get off exclusively with her, but I don’t and it’s getting harder. It got easier for a while but it’s back and I want release. Need help guys, any advice would be greatly appreciated.
[edit] Normally I would tell myself that my thinking is wrong in the horny state, and to wait a day and you’ll be thankful. So I’ve been waiting a few days now and my logic is still the same and I still want to fap. I realize now that part of me was just waiting to get to 90 as an excuse to give in…still feel that way.
LINK – 90 Day Report (again)
UPDATE – Hey so, how long will it take for my dick to work again?
I’ve done nofap a lot in the past, streaks rangin from a month to as high as 4 months…I just recently (finally) lost my virginity at 22, for all of 30 seconds. I can’t stay hard without porn, and can barely get hard in the first place. I really like this girl, and really want to be able to do this properly. We’ve tried again since and the same thing happened.
I’m almost sure this is a problem pertaining to the whole PMO thing. I don’t get hard from girls or anything that isn’t porn, and I can’t even stay hard when trying to fap without porn. My dick is just incapable of working right now. It hasn’t been too hard obstaining so far which is nice, but I guess I’m just inpatient. I’ve never been with a girl in my past nofap attempts so I don’t really have a frame of reference as to how long it might take for this to start working. I miss being able to get hard and stay that way. For reference, I’m 22 and have been using PMO for the last 10 or so years, usually daily except for nofap attempts.
I guess if anyone else has been in this situation in the past and has gotten better some words of reassurance would also be nice.
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