I never thought I would get this far; things had gotten pretty heavy and my battle against pmo has lasted nearly 2 years. In that time I have changed dramatically.
My start point was 4 years ago, no confidence, no experience with girls and no real social life. I was hooked on porn since 13, completely mesmerised by the apparently perfect world of lust. I went deeper into this bullshit, eventually ending up seeking that shock factor. I hypnotised myself with some awful contexts, I faced sexual confusion and no longer found “normal” arousing. So a pretty messed up situation.
I hit 18 and it was time to go to university. I thought PMO never affected my work ethic but I realise that I was only ever at 50% capacity really. University gave me a social life and some friends, it taught me so much but I became massively dependent on alcohol to allow me socialise, to get over the trauma of PMO.
This is when I realised I needed to change, I exercised like crazy and did everything to make myself normal, but still there was always that piece missing. After three years of effort I managed to give up porn, I couldn’t stop mo as I had no other release and was fooled into the whole it is healthy thing.
So after another year I gave up mo after several relapses I am now at 90 days. I have a girlfriend of 90 days now as well, go figure, I feel the claws of porn slipping and I finally feel more normal than ever. I have had some of the happiest days of my life, winning an award at university and finding a lovely girl.
Just want to thank nofap as without you guys this would never have happened. Best of luck to all of you and I am looking forward to my 1 year report. I have been posting intermittently so feel free to read through my previous stuff.
LINK – My 90 days, but several year story
by disciplex
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