I guess this is kind of my pornfree “testimony”… Take what you will from it 🙂
I’m 22 years old and I struggled with PMO for ~10yrs. I ran through the cycle of PMO -> guilt -> “never again” -> urge -> PMO over and over again. Sometimes I would go a few days without P, other times a few weeks or a month (we all know the story) but I always ended up back at square one.
Until I did something different.
This time, instead of fighting and vowing to myself “NEVER AGAIN!!” I decided that something drastic needed to be done – I went into a purge mode. I got rid of all internet except for the pure ESSENTIAL. I got rid of my ipad and laptop and locked up my phone and xbox. I only had access to public internet.
I still “felt” the cycle (in the way you “feel” the waves when you lay down after a day at the wavepool) going within my mind – but that was the whole point. Every time I felt an urge and didn’t fulfill it, I could feel the cycle breaking down. (Think of a gear wheel – every time an urge was resisted a tooth would break off. Pretty soon you have a gear with no teeth.) NoFap was also crucial – every time I fantasized I could feel the chaser effect big time. Slowly, but surely, I could feel P’s hold on me letting go. At 102 days, I felt secure enough that I let myself out of “rehab”. I unlocked my phone and got a new laptop.
I still get urges sometimes, but they’re so much smaller… I truly FEEL different. I’m careful on the internet and I take precautions (x3watch), but P is just so…foreign.
I’m not saying this is necessary for everyone (because it certainly isn’t), but at the same time this worked for me and it’s a method worth considering. I encourage you to sit down and truly think “what is NECESSARY for me to break this cycle?” The bigger question is “Am I willing to do WHATEVER it takes?” I truly hope you can answer the latter in the affirmative.
This is one of my longer posts, but I wanted to share it. Stay strong brothers! We’re all in this together.
LINK – Breaking the Cycle – My Testimony
by Leviathan516