Hey NoFap Community,
I’ve finally reached 90 days. I don’t know how I did it, but I did it somehow, even through all of the hard times and immense periods of struggle and depression. Here goes…
Started fapping when I was 12-13. I was born with cleft lip and was constantly made fun of at school. Deeply affected my self-worth/image of myself and I still struggle with this today. Fapping seemed to be my only release of pleasure since I was too self-conscious to interact with girls of any kind. Fapping helped me feel pleasure without any risk, vulnerability or growth as an individual
Before NoFap
Fapping/PMO destroyed my view on relationships and intimacy
I never realized the extent to which fapping/PMO affected my relationships and intimacy with women. Because I was basing all of my experiences with girls on the porn I watched, I felt that girls owed me sex if I did something nice for them.
Dated a girl in high school – sweet, cute and adorable. She was extremely shy and I learned that I was her first kiss. She asked me to be patient – I wasn’t. I dumped her on the spot. Even after hanging out with her I was looking forward to going home to fap instead. In college this continued and became even more severe. I preferred fapping to socializing with friends and going out. I was extremely awkward and greatly preferred staying in my room to fap and even memorized my roommate’s schedule down to the hour to plan out what times were designated as “me-time”.
I frequently skipped my own classes and even would oversleep after a marathon fap session Junior year of college I met a girl who was into me and we started semi-dating. She would get very frustrated because all I wanted to do was just hook up and never talk to her or open up to her. She eventually found out I was a virgin and was disgusted. She literally laughed in my face and never spoke to me again. I still am hung up on that and it is seriously one of my biggest sticking points.
I spent $1000s of my parents’ hard-earned money on weed and alcohol. My routine was to smoke a shit ton, get high and fap. I would fap so much to the point of which nothing would come out, the skin on my dick would be raw and chafed I also hated public places. I never made eye contact with people, always stared at the ground, and was just so depressed. Even crossing the street would make me nervous because I thought all the drivers were watching me and thinking of how awkward I was
After NoFap
I discovered reddit/nofap forum around early/mid-April of this year. I realized how much of an addict I was and decided to change.
I have not fapped/edged since April 15th and stopped completely cold turkey. (There were a few times where I viewed porn but realized after a few minutes that it wasn’t a substitute for real intimacy and quit the browser)
- It’s a lot easier to be more social! I have found that I actually really enjoy listening and learning about different peoples’ stories.
- It’s a lot easier to talk to girls. I’ve been told I’m a funny guy with a good sense of humor (although my humor is usually light-hearted jokes/extremely sarcastic) I would never show this side to girls.
- Since I started NoFap it’s a lot easier to show that side to people – girls/guys, aliens, etc.
- The other day I even approached a girl that turned out to be a swimsuit/lingerie model. For all of you guys thinking I’m sort of stud, I’m not. She got my number and never called. And also for those of you wondering I’m a short (5”4) Asian kid who isn’t particularly really good looking or buff
- I stand up straight, make direct eye contact
- I lost 12 lbs!! (150->138) I started working out regularly to burn off excess energy and went from not being able to finish a lap around the track to running 5 miles at one time. Impressive, eh?
- Bouts of just unexplained happiness
I have a lot more to share but I feel like this will turn into a book. As always, AMA! Hope this helps some of you guys and good luck! If a severely addicted guy like me can do this, I am confident anyone can! Seriously AMA!
**I’m still a virgin and there are still times where I get self-conscious about it. I realize that sex isn’t and shouldn’t be someone’s primary goal in life. There’s too much other stuff to worry about then just sex! I’m confident it’ll happen when it’s meant to. Also, I’m not happy 100% of the time since I started NoFap. There are still days where I feel like absolute shit and feel like I haven’t accomplished anything. I try to shake those negative thoughts usually by going for a run or doing something relaxing!
UPDATE
Hello guys and gals,
It has been a crazy journey thus far. I’ve learned and grown more in the past year than I have in my entire life. I’ll give you a short bio about me so we’re all on the same page: I’m a 23 year old recent college grad currently living with my parents while I apply to grad school.
I was constantly bullied as a kid, so naturally when I discovered porn and masturbation, I found solace in the euphoric feeling. I started when I was around 10-11, and at the peak of my addiction (when I was in college up until 21/22), I was fapping anywhere from 7-12 times a day. I was smoking a lot of weed, really depressed, and upset with life. I discovered NoFap in April, and decided to give it a shot.
I still haven’t fapped since April 15th. I have watched porn on a couple occasions, but ultimately my guilt and angst from watching just isn’t worth it to me. Before I would have rationalized watching porn any way that I can, but nowadays if I see porn somewhere, I’ll look away and not watch. Pretty impressive, eh?
NoFap has helped me in a lot of ways. It’s helped me in school (finally finished with the MCAT), and it’s really helped with my self-esteem. Sure, some days I feel down, but I now feel like I have something to offer. I used to think no girl would ever find me attractive – I really don’t think that’s the case for anyone – I truly believe there’s someone out there for every single person.
I’m also still a virgin – but I’m not looking just to have sex with a random girl…I’m looking for a girl who I connect with emotionally and the physical stuff can come later.
This past week, I’ve approached more girls, flirted and gotten rejected than I have my entire life. When I was younger, I was always the funny kid. After PMOing for so long, I just felt so insecure I would try to be the fly on the wall. Since I’ve started, it’s really weird – I find myself wanting to talk to people, especially pretty girls, and I’ve surprised myself greatly with some of the things that just randomly spurt out during conversation.
Victories don’t come very often, but I appreciate them that much more when they do. This is a victory post. Thank you each and every one of you for your support.
UPDATE: Took a girl on a date last night – NoFap is changing my life.
I really hope my post can inspire fellow fapstronauts. A little about me: 24 year old guy who started PMO when I was 11/12. I was bullied a lot and very self-conscious about myself. I’m starting to learn that I’m a great guy and accepting myself for who I am, faults and all. There have been times in my life where I binged nearly every day, knowing how PMO was destroying my life but it felt so good that I couldn’t stop. I’ve relapsed so many times, my two longest streaks have been both over 200+ days and I would be so ashamed knowing that I failed yet again. Despite only doing NoFap for about 10 days, I know that NoFap has helped me, especially in interacting with people (women in particular).
Anyways, on to the date…so let’s call this girl A. I met her a couple months ago and asked her for her number. I talked to her via text for a few months and asked her out through text but she ignored me. I stopped talking to her because I thought she wasn’t interested, but last week I decided to hit her up one last time to see if she would be down to hang out.
She responded positively, so instead of asking her again through text, I decided to be bold and call her instead. Called her and it worked out so much better – guys call the girls you’re interested in. It shows initiative and piques the girls’ interest since most guys will text rather than call.
I met up with her last night and at first she was really shy. I tried establishing touch with her from the beginning and at one point she told me not to touch her, haha. I toned it down and just started talking about life and learning more about her. NoFap helped me maintain strong eye contact and make jokes. Guys, making girls laugh is awesome. I think if the girl likes you she will laugh at pretty much everything you say. When we changed venues I told her that I wanted to hold her hand and she agreed.
I used to be such a pussy around girls – I was terrified of being rejected but I told myself this girl likes me, otherwise she wouldn’t be hanging out with me. We actually talked a lot about sexual things – I told her how I struggled with PMO and how it turned me into a giant walking vagina. She laughed and we also talked about how guys gawk and stare at her but never make a move/talk to her. (GUYS – girls really do not get approached all that much. Most guys are so scared of rejection that they won’t even try. By you going and saying hi, you are already ahead of 90% of guys) At the end of the night we were walking back to our cars and I told her to wait and when she asked why I told her I wanted to kiss her. I went for it and she complimented me on my boldness. (<– NoFap!!!)
As we were walking she told me a couple things that really stuck out..she told me she really admired my confidence and said I had a mature/attractive voice. She told me she felt like I did this a lot and took girls out on dates – I responded by going in for the kiss again. She asked me to text her again and said she wanted to come visit me out of state at school.
;