For six years, I spent my nights jacking off and my days justifying it. After becoming so emotionally unavailable to the people around me and emotionally involved with the girls on the computer screen, I’d REALLY developed an unhealthy attitude to life. Erectile dysfunction with my girlfriend amongst other sexual issues were the direct cause of this, which only led to increased dependence upon porn.
I was seriously spiraling out of control in a world I didn’t feel included in. I had always wanted to come clean to my long-time girlfriend, but chose not to for fear of damaged feelings and an outside perception of myself that I didn’t want others to see. When the time finally came for me to stand up to myself and tell the truth, there is one thing and one thing only that helped the words out:
Accountability. ACCOUNTABILITY, ACCOUNTABILITY, ACCOUNTABILITY.
Being honest with myself was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I had to WANT to change, instead of wishing I could. Yes, my girlfriend had the exact reaction I had been expecting. Yes, her feared emotions of disgust towards me were there, but those things (thankfully) worked themselves out after additional soul searching and therapy.
The ED remained for a while, but eventually became less and less frequent. Our relationship (both under the sheets and outside of them) has never been better. The temptations resurfaced, but managing your emotions towards them may help you to realize the effect they have on you isn’t quite as strong as you thought before.
I hope any of my rambling has helped someone here and I’m glad to find a community dedicated to raising awareness of the blight we have today that is porn addiction. Hope everybody is doing well in their own endeavors.
Until next time,
CJEB
LINK – 13 Months Free
by CJEB
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