Success!!!I want to let everyone know that I am a really bad PIED case that is healed after 2 years and 3 months. I was always wondering why guys chased women and why I never felt the need to. I always wondered why I never pursued an attractive woman that was clearly into me.I didn’t have much experience in high school and lost my virginity in college. I went through periods where I thought I was gay. I would death grip my penis and need to fantasize about the raunchiest things in order to get off. Went through most kinds of porn out there and didn’t realize how bad it was until it was way too late.
In May of 2012, I dated what I thought to be the perfect girl. We got along on every level and I loved everything about her. We dated for a month and tried to have sex and it was not successful. We tried again the next 3 weekends and it was still not happening. I had even quit masturbating for that second month. I didn’t find YBOP until the fall of 2012 and decided to reboot right away. The only problem was I went through 30+ day reboots and then relapse. This went on for nearly 5 or 6 months until I started dating again. I was able to have sex successfully with another girl I really liked, but my erection was maybe 60% in a condom and I just wasn’t into it. My confidence did go up a little bit and I started taking girls home from the bar and I still wasn’t all that much successful. One of the few successful times was when I slept with a married woman and I had to reevaluate everything about myself.
This is when things really changed – In March of this year, I set small goals for myself and went 110+ days no PMO. I also stopped using the internet as much and really only logged in here once every 3 or 4 days if not less. I studied my ass off, nailed the GMAT, and am applying to business schools right now. I am dating a wonderful woman who I have had sex with 5 times now with no issues (first few times with half a cialis).
What did I do?
- Set goals for myself to compete with myself and others
- Started hiking and traveling a little bit more
- Focused more on my career (work and graduate school)
- Kept myself out of my comfort zone in any way possible
- Started playing sports competitively again
- Kept working out and meditating
- Proactively tried to exert my sexuality around women more and cut down on female friends
How did it help?
- I’m more fit than I was in the past which helps with self esteem.
- I have been much invested in my friendships and relationships
- When I am with a girl, I am much more focused on her and the moment. When having sex or getting intimate, I don’t think about work, school, my family, etc. I proactively focused on her and eventually I forgot about everything else. The last time I had sex, I didn’t think about my erection strength or a possible delayed ejaculation, I just enjoyed every second I spent with her.
- I am also way more invested in work and my career
- I am on the computer much less (minus fantasy football) and watch much less TV.
For those who still doubt this process, just really take a step back and focus on your end goal and the day to day process that you need to take to get there. Before (and during at times) the reboot, I was nearly suicidal and doubted the point of living because of this fucking issue. I didn’t and neither should you. We can all do this!
A special thanks to 40new30, Gameover, EDnightmare, and Xenohenheim among others for the continuous replies on my journal. I can’t begin to explain how much even the littlest amount of support really helped me get through this.
My journal is also in my signature.
Feel free to ask me any questions!
LINK – 2+ Years later, my PIED is Gone
BY – tk8888
EARLIER POST – The first 90 days – A report
by tk8888
I’m a 25 year old with PIED and I passed 90 days on hard mode just over a week ago, but haven’t had time to post about the progress I have seen due to a busier schedule than in the past:
Sex Life – I have had 2 wet dreams. My erections have gotten stronger and I now get erections while holding hands and kissing which never happened to me in the past. I still get into my own head a little much and the erections tend to die rather quickly, but I’m sure it will only get better as I rewire. I haven’t been able to actually test out my erection in bed, but hope to soon. Got some baggage to take care of with a gal before I can really start freely getting intimate with other girls.
Work – I have been working harder the last few months than I ever did the two years before that. I also don’t seem to mind working harder and longer. My job involves managing accounts and I have seemed to go into every single meeting with more of a purpose regardless of whether I am talking to a white collar or a blue collar worker. Confidence has been sky high and I am better focused on my end in mind and goals than I have ever been. The confidence has been affected more by personal confidence exercises I do daily, rather than the reboot IMO.
Career – I have been studying and what is different about me now vs me in the past is that me in the past would always think about the results before putting in the time, sweat, and energy to get the tasks done. I now break things down to the daily process and flat out get things done. If I have 45 minutes to get some studying in or some extraneous job related matters taken care of, I’ll do it. Again, a lot of this is me taking the time to break down what I want I really want, how to do it, and what it will take to get there in a deeper manner and not necessarily attributed to the reboot.
Social Life – I have been enjoying my social life much more and hardly think about wanting to go home and hang out/masturbate. If I am out, I want to stay out to the wee hours with friends and just have a great time. If I am hiking in the morning, I want to spend the whole day out there. I say yes and do not look back! This has been the best part about the reboot for me. I have become more adventurous and less of a homebody. When I am home, I don’t watch TV or play video games unless I’m with friends.
What helped me: – Working out really helped me out a lot, but I haven’t gone as much since I canceled my membership when I moved within my city. – Rewiring has been amazing and I always want more. Although I don’t like to rewire for the sake of rewiring with gals I don’t care about or see a future with. – Meditation really helped me to calm down and better feel in the moment. This along with the book, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, taught me not to multi task and just enjoy/focus on every individual task/moment/hobby/interaction at that moment and nothing else. – Set goals and no goal is too small. I started with 1 day, then 2 days, then 3 days, then 4 days, then 5 days, then 6 days, then 1 week, then 10 days, then 14 days, then 17 days, etc. These small wins built my confidence for a stretch run I thought I couldn’t make. I couldn’t even make it a week for the few months before this reboot.
FIND YOUR TRIGGERS AND PLAN A WAY TO FIGHT THEM. My biggest triggers were looking at porn when I was drunk, lonely, angry, sad, etc. I decided to simply tell myself that I would not look at porn, period in these states. I would tell myself this when I was in these states that looking at porn would reinforce the problem. Even though I peeked 3 times in the last 98 days, I didn’t edge or come close to relapsing one time.
In conclusion, I need to test out my erections soon and have been rewiring with different girls (3 or 4) over the last 30 days to just enjoy the moment and build that anticipation of sex. I don’t know if 90 days has been enough for me, but it sure has helped! I have naturally felt more social than I have in the past and am more likely to say yes and take risks now. The clarity has allowed me more time to focus on more important matters whether it is work or studying. I need to do a better of job of being consistent, but it is helping.
I’m honestly looking more forward to 180 days, more rewiring, and more consistent habit building even though the first 90 days have been very helpful! I don’t consider myself a success just yet by any stretch of the imagination. Once I can achieve my goal of having sex with no issues, I’ll say this was a success.
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