Here I am, somewhere in between 60 and 65 days (I lost count: minimum of 2 months) and life IS a struggle.
Imagine being pulled out of a cave you’ve lived in your entire life. Imagine living comfortably and securely in this cave with all the comfort-granting amenities you can ask for. And one day… You’re thrust out of the cave and into the light. Except you’re thrust out of the cave as a little kid, naked and into a sprawling lifeless desert. Imagine surviving, learning how to communicate, learning how to live on your own, learning what REALITY is all about. (Yes, this was a Plato’s cave/matrix analogy)
It’s the scariest thing ever. But guess what? You harden, become carved out of wood and stronger than steel. And when you have scary goals (that SEEM unachievable) that you dedicate your life to accomplishing, you will ALWAYS struggle.
Life is NOT easy.
Did Steve Jobs live comfortable? Do you think anyone successful lived comfortably? In Eminem’s song ‘Rap God’ he says ‘I bully myself cause’ I make me do what I put my mind to’. The path too success is NOT glamorous NOR elegant. The road to success is insufferable, agonizing and BRUTAL.
Most of us existed in this easy world of fapping, a world where we could fix all of our problems with PMO. But then we started NoFap. ‘Hey! It’s day 7, I feel invincible!’. Then guess what, FLATLINE. This is when the real work comes. This is when we struggle, fight and persevere.
So no. My life hasn’t gotten worse.
But I now experience reality for what it is. Harsh. It is a reality that I will adapt to. I have BEEN adapting to it. We must adapt to it… That is unless we want to live our lives in the cave.
Ok so here is where I am at 60-something odd days (I turn 25 today, Married and father-to-be):
-I have urges EVERYDAY
-I have formed new habits (check out r/theXeffect and r/getdisciplined). Primarily study habits, fitness habits, job searching habits are what I have formed. Habits are extremely powerful especially if they are practiced everyday(oxymoron?) A new habit is incredibly difficult to maintain but will cause incredible change in your life.
-My marriage is at it’s peak. My wife has said that our marriage has never been this great.
-Yes, I experience the opposite sex checking me out and showing me attention but guess what, I DONT GIVE A FUCK about this and neither should you. FOCUS ON YOU (FOR FUCKS SAKE STOP SAYING YOUR’E DOING THIS FOR THE GIRL, NoFap is not about that)
-I sleep amazing
-Daily bike riding and working out
-Brain fog: DESTROYED. My mind is sharper than ever.
-Finished a 700 page book recently. Reading is one of the habits I have used to replace Nofap
-My aspiration to get into Medical School keeps me going everyday. This is a life goal and a HUGE motivating factor that keeps me from fapping and working towards my goal regularly..
-Can maintain eye contact and carry conversations with anyone. This is important and I am going to note that I need to improve upon my communication skills in the professional realm. My lack of professional communication has cost me an interview for a new job but this if for another thread.
-It feels like I am dealing with numerous failures everyday and they ALL hurt. But my attitude towards failure has been to fix what is deficient instead of turning to fapping. Motivation to grow and improve.
-Women not objects anymore – they are beautiful in many ways. I used to be obsessed with one race in particular but after discontinuing my racial fetish, I find many ethnicities equally beautiful.
I am LIGHTYEARS away from the person I was. Keep up the NoFap journey and be amazed.
AMA.
EDIT: To people saying the title is misleading hear this: I almost got fired from my job last night from a negligent mistake and a week ago I missed a job opportunity that I was perfectly qualified once again for a negligent mistake. Both of these events among others events (emotional spells) were arguably two of the lowest and most depressing points since starting NoFap. These are emotions I NEVER would have felt otherwise. So YES things have gotten worse but the point is that things get WORSE before they get better. Like in The Dark Knight ‘the night is darkest before dawn’. My apologies for a misleading title.
LINK – My life actually HAS gotten worse since starting Nofap (explanation inside)
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