Just would like to share my story. I started masturbating to porn at the age of 12, and would have periods of doing this up to 4 times daily. Problems with ED and HOCD started a couple of months ago.
I would get spikes every now and then but I was able to control it. This gave me very bad social anxiety and depression, I could not look at people in the eye. My brain was telling me that I was gay or transsexual etc and this would make me sick to the stomach. I would masturbate to straight porn just to prove myself, and things got really bad when my ED kicked in and my brain would automatically think what next transsexual/ gay porn to get a hard on. Sorry for the explicit language.
Some memories from the childhood came flooding in as well, I was sexually abused as a child and I remember as a young boy once going through my mums stuff and playing with the lipstick. So you get the picture, my brain would put all the above together and say that you are definitely a homosexual. I have to say that I don’t have anything against gay people, I just know that kind of thing is not for me.
I can definitely say that the porn was a substitute for comfort and real girls. I have had many girlfriends in the past and have always been attracted to girls.
I’m feeling the results of nofap already, my ED is cured, my HOCD is better and I’m starting go out and meet girls again. My self esteem and confidence is starting to pick up and I don’t think about what people think about me and shit like that and I can created my own high with out the porn. The high of life!!!
LINK – Age 26, 40 days no porn, several relapsed. ED cured. HOCD cured
by Gent2000
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