I discovered NoFap about 4 months ago. At that time I had lost my faith at 26 years old (also I was a virigin because of that religion, but I had never had success with girls much anyway), I was lost and depressed, confused about life, and had very little confidence. The girl of my dreams had dumped me about a year before that and I still felt extremely down about it. I was looking at porn almost everyday and it was getting to be extreme. I would fap, then feel shitty because I couldn’t believe what I had been looking at. One day I found myself fapping to gay porn, afterwards I knew I had a serious problem, how could I be turned on to something that clearly wasn’t my sexual orientation?
One night I had a girl over and she offered to give me a blowjob. This had never happened in my life before and I let her. After about 8 minutes of trying, I told her to stop, I couldn’t get up at all. I was embarrassed and blamed it on her being drunk and me not wanting to take advantage of her. But I knew something was seriously wrong. I had been noticing some erectile problems when looking at porn, but I always assumed it wouldn’t be a problem with the real thing… I was wrong.
That night I did a search on google for “porn induced ED” and found YBOP and NoFap. I decided to quit that day and I was fairly successful. In the first 70 days I fapped one time and although I wasn’t proud of it, I was at least glad that I had fapped to a naked girl rather than midget porn or something like that. (Full disclosure, midget porn was probably one of the few types of porn I never got into).
In those 70 days my life got significantly better. I wasn’t able to exercise at that time as much as I wanted to, but I noticed a few huge changes in my life:
- Confidence around women – Beofre NoFap I had madeout with plenty of girls, but it was almost always them making the moves. It would take me hours to gain the confidence to make a move, I was always in my own head. After about the first 2 weeks my confidence around women soared. in those two months I had sex with 3 different women. I found myself not only making the right move, but also turning girls on simply by talking to them. I found out that when I’m not PMOing I have fairly natural game with women.
- Better communication with all people – I think that for me, PMOing all the time had caused me to care less about people in real life. Once I stopped I found that I made new friends easier, was less afraid to talk to new people, and more fulfilled with the conversations I had. I had always been good at talking to people (I was in sales… so I had to be decent) but for the first time in a long time I felt like I was really connecting with people in a way I hadn’t before.
- Increased happiness – To be clear, I wasn’t crazy happy all the time, but I did start seeing more beauty in my every day life. I remember walking down a busy street in China one day and thinking “this is all just amazing…” It was a pretty amazing moment.
- Started noticing women everywhere – Seriously, its amazing how many there are, and its amazing how much more attractive everyone becomes. I was feeling more horny more often… admittedly, but it drove me to seek out real women, not fake ones.
So needless to say my experience was a positive one. I lost a lot of the cravings for porn, and I assumed I was “cured” or something to that effect.
This is where the story gets kind of sad, but I think necessary. After the second month I started getting a weird dull ache in my left testicle. I assumed it was nothing at first, but it slowly seemed to get worse. I’d notice the pain occasionally going into my right one as well, and needless to say, it sucked. It completely took me out of life for awhile. I saw 4 separate doctors, including a urologist, and none of them could find anything wrong. I stopped going out and meeting new people, and started really worrying that there was something wrong. I started fapping at first because my doctor told me to in order to see if there was pain when I ejaculated. There wasn’t any pain… but I also found that while fapping the pain went away. I started fapping all over again, looking at porn, and spiraled very quickly…
After meeting with my urologist the other day he said that there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong. He finally said that it all may be in my head and that for the next couple months to try meditating and whenever I can to try and tell myself that the pain isn’t real and its all in my head.
Well I wish I could say since then the pain has gone away completely – it hasn’t yet – but it certainly has gone down and doesn’t seem to be effecting my life anymore. So I’ve decided that I need to stop making excuses and not fap anymore, again. I was only using it as a drug to medicate myself anyways, and it was only hurting my life.
I’ll keep everyone updated on my progress, but you guys are awesome. Every time I come to reddit this is the first page I look at and it reminds me to keep going and keep trying.
LINK – How NoFap changed my life and why I am rebooting again
by mayonade
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