26 year-old gay guy here. After a few good streaks, at the end of December, I told myself I would take it day by day and join the 2014 challenge. Well, it was extremely challenging but I made it to 90 days (no PMO – still MO).
There were a lot of mood swings, feelings of sadness and being tired among other things that come with trying to break an addiction.
But, I can honestly say that days 65+ onward were some of the best I’ve ever had in my life. Even around a month and half in, things were starting to change – http://www.reddit.com/r/pornfree/comments/1xfv7d/42_days_in_with_a_small_win_this_week_brain/. My confidence was so high that I almost didn’t recognize myself anymore and my interactions with other people were incredible. But, by far the best outcome was that I had little to no anxiety anymore, which is something I’ve had my entire life. This included everything from work, dating, and meeting other guys. I also give all the credit to r/pornfree for giving me the drive and confidence to have sex for the first time in almost 4 years, which happened around day 80.
Unfortunately, because I started dating someone, I thought the problem would be over and I let my guard down after some vulnerable moments around day 95. During the past month and a half or so, I’ve relapsed quite a few times and have felt everything I was trying to get away from before slowly come back – the anxiety, lack of self-confidence, shyness, insecurity, etc. I need this sub right now more than ever and am making it a point to check it everyday and be active again.
The one piece of advice I have is don’t let your guard down even when things are going well and you’re feeling good. The mistake I made was telling myself I didn’t need r/pornfree anymore. It only takes one moment of self-doubt to erase a lot of progress. I’ve realized this is a lifelong struggle and it won’t simply go away even when things are looking up and you don’t have the same reasons for watching porn that you used to.
So, I’m back as of today and taking it day by day. I can’t wait to feel that good again. Breaking this addiction can do amazing things.
LINK – I‘m back. Recap of 90 days then relapse.
by failorade
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