Today, I hit the 70 day mark and it’s still pretty surreal that I have gone without porn for as long as I have. I remember 70 days ago like it was yesterday when I had jacked off at least 4 times that day and I felt sick to my stomach. This addiction started when I was 13 when I came across some nude photos and then it quickly escalated to hardcore porn.
I was just a kid so I didn’t know the damage that it was doing to me while I was watching it because it made me feel good.
As I got older, I tried losing my virginity but I failed because I couldn’t get hard to save my life. It wasn’t a one time occurrence, I kept getting soft every time I tried to lose my virginity.
I got my doctor to prescribe me the erectile dysfunction pill when it finally worked. But even when i lost my virginity, I didn’t understand why I was needing these pills because I was only 24 and I was dependent on them. The commercial made it seem like it was for old geezers who couldn’t get hard which didn’t apply to me.
So at this point I would always use the pill to have sex and I am 28 now.
So during this past 70 days I finally had sex once without having to use the pill and I felt like all the hard work paid off. I felt like John Wall when he made his Wizards debut at home..
LINK – 70
UPDATE – 4 months W/O porn
Today, is 4 months of not watching porn. I remember when I started my NoFap journey like it was yesterday. I was done feeling shitty about myself and having this bullshit addiction control me.
Did I expect that I would even reach 4 months? hell no! I thought it was impossible for me to hit 30 days, but here I am on day 122.
I completed 102 days of not masturbating before I made the choice to masturbate without the use of artificial stimuli. In my mind, I had to refrain from masturbating and porn for at least 90 days and I accomplished that goal.
Do I regret masturbating? no because my goal all along was to quit pornography and I did. I can’t get overconfident, I have to take it one day at a time however, the urges are nowhere near the same like when I first started.
When I hit that first 30 day milestone, I said to myself that I can fucking do this and I had to keep going. My biggest fear was to reset my counter and the zero scared me more than anything.
Fear was my driving motivation to not relapse. I worked too goddamn hard to throw it all away for a temporary moment of pleasure.
Just like any other addiction, quitting porn is possible but it depends on how badly you want it. I no longer wanted to be in my room for hours looking for the perfect video to jack off to, I no longer wanted to be depressed, I wanted more and I had to work hard to get to where I am at.
On a side note, my girlfriend and I are moving in together next month! At one point in my life, I always believed I would live at home with my mother for the rest of my life.
On Sept 30th, 2015, I remember leaving my abusive mother’s house and found an ad on craigslist to rent a room in a house with 6 other strangers. It was the best decision I ever made.
I chose to walk away from my own mother because I wanted control back and wanted the abuse to stop, and 4 months ago I wanted control back from porn and I did it. 2 years ago, I wasn’t sure what was going to happen when I left my mom’s house, but I knew it would get better, and similarly when I quit porn my life got much better!
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