I feel very relieved that Porn is not part of my life anymore; it is great that I am free from this disgusting habit. I want to give a bit of a bio before I say how this process has been for me. I started fapping when I was 12 to magazines, then moved up to pixel images, then finally high speed internet porn. It has been a good 18 years, now that I am fapping.
I was a very cheerful and extrovert kid up to the age I started to fap, then all changed. My sexually life was nonexistent as I became very shy after I started to fapping at 12 years of age. , I guess from all the fapping, even though I was a very good looking person, and I had a lot of girls interested in me, but I was just too shy to take the initiative. My first kiss came when I was 21, with my GF, and that is when I noticed it, I had this very attractive girl naked in my bed, and I was flaccid. I was baffled, and very embarrassed, but I had no idea what It was, I attributed it to anxiety maybe cause It was my first time, but no it kept happening. I never related it to porn and fapping, it never even crossed my mind until the day I accidentally stumbled on Gray Wilson Ted talk. That is when it hit me all of the side effects and the symptoms, it was like as if I had finally had all the answer to every single question I was looking for.
So I am 92 days strong I will just give you guys some highlights of the key points through my journey so far.
Week 1 (1-7day) – I didn’t really feel too different but I left as day 7 approached I was getting a stronger libido than what I normally have.
Week 2- (8 -14) – I joined a gym, and I started reading a book called “body by science” I started feeling that my Testosterone levels were really high especially on day 14. A point for later I could only bench 95 lbs.
Week 3- (15-21)- I started experiencing insomnia, I really wanted to fap. I was up until 3 am most nights. I had always been very indecisive as a person, but I finally manned up and made my mind up that I will, start looking for work, and I can’t be lazy anymore, I have a master degree , but I have been very slow and unmotivated looking for work, but now I felt different.
Week4- (22-28)- Not much had changed for me, but I did start noticing when I go out I get way more attention from women. Also, this is when I hit a very strong flat line.
Week 5 (29- 35) – I noticed that I was a lot more manly, small changes in my voice and also, my demeanor. I was still in a flat line.
Week 6 (36- 42) – I finally passed my 1st license test for my degree that I had put off for 6 months, I was believing in myself more.
Week 7(43- 49) – I was still in a flat line, but I was more happy and positive overall.
Week 8(50- 56) – Ok a lot happened this week for me. I had a girl I had been talking to for a while randomly send me a naked picture, which terrified me, because I did not want to relapse, but as soon as I saw it I was hard like a steel pipe. I finally got my licensed issued by the state board; I had put this off nearly 6 months. I was very aggressive; I had a lot of testosterone flowing through me. I got in a really bad verbal argument with my father.
Week 9(57-63) I was still very edgy and aggressive, my sister told me something simple and I snapped I yelled at her. Day 59 I had a very massive morning wood to the point where my dick was so long and strong that I thought it would rip my shorts. But the next day 60, I was in a massive flat line again.
Week 10 ( 64- 70) – I had my first job interview scheduled, made me feel really good. I am not a very materialistic person at all, but I actually went and bought shoes and some new clothes.
Week 11( 71- 77) I had my interview, it went great, they really liked me. The rest of the week I spent just thinking about the interview, trust me friends you learn a lot more in your defeats in life than you do in your victories. I learned a lot about myself, during this interview.
Week 12( 78- 84) I really started taking an initiative with my life I deleted my facebook, my POF account , my Okcupid account, I cleaned out my phone list. I really felt like I needed to focus and myself more, instead of others. I got word that I did not get the Job, which kind of made me feel a little depressed, I almost relapsed, I started texting a girl I had talked to before to meet up and we should make out, but something inside of me was able to click this time, that it never clicked before, and I came to my sense, and I did not lead to temptation in the end. I was proud of myself; it was the first time for me, not to give in like that. Also I was very very very horny on day 84, to the point where I was up until 4 am.
Week 13( 85- 91) – this week I really started feel much more appreciative and I started to take big steps in finding work I became much more proactive and on top of things. I got 2 really interested responses from potential employers; I am still waiting to see what the next step is with them, but a good start.
Week 14 ( 92- 98) I am on day 92. About my gym progress, I can bench 215 lbs now that is a big improvement from 95 lbs.
Overall I can say that now I am a person that does not get upset or phased anymore, I am confident, passionate, and I have a strong will and belief in myself. I know that life is a journey not a race. Sex women, porn, masturbating was all that I though about 24/7, for 18 straight years, but inside I was an empty person. Now I don’t spend time on these things anymore, I am becoming a complete person inside.
We need to learn not to rush everything we ever wanted it will come to us, with time, patience’s and when you are ready for it. I feel like I am a man now, my voice is deeper, my muscles are bigger, my confidence is higher, and I feel that in terms of my sex life I have not experimented at all yet, but I feel that, to have good sex you need to take it slow, you need to get to know someone and develop the bond the emotional attachments then you can have good sex.
One thing I am very happy about is, I do not have anymore dopamine cravings, I was the type of person who would, leave my house at 11 pm in a bad storm to drive for 45 minutes to see a girl, so when I get there I would ED, PE, feel ashamed and not satisfied at all. I did this many times, and I noticed I wasn’t even craving sex anymore, I was craving the anticipation of the event, I had reached a point that I was doing very very risk behavior just to get that dopamine high, which High speed internet porn could not give me anymore.
I want to end on this point; everyday is a new day, a fresh start, a new set of opportunities waiting for you, never limits yourself. We can all beat this we just have to really want to beat it, small wins is what will get you there, set small goals, and through all those small wins, you will have a very big victory in the end. Breakdown your journey into a weekly schedule, have a journal and write a report on every day and how it went. So you can go back and see thoroughly how you are progressing as a person and as a man. All the best luck.
LINK – 92 days strong..
by smallwin99
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