Highspeed internet PMOing since 2003. After intermittent and frustrating bouts with performance anxiety and delayed ejaculation I seriously needed to fix, I decided to cut back on MO, temporarily cut back on intercourse, and permanently give up PMO.
For the longest time during my journey (over 100 days) I sulked and wondered “why am I not horny?!?!?!”, “am I still in a flatline?”
One thing I had realized was that my flatline (at least toward the end) wasn’t a flatline at all. It was change in thinking in regards to sexual excitement and arousal. Rather than relying on porn and mental fantasies to get my motor running, the only thing that gets me there now is the touch and feel of a real woman. Basically how our ancestors did it!
Porn was artificially keeping me in an unnatural state of sexual arousal. I was wired to pixels for my arousal and not the real thing. I had lost touch with reality in regards to human sexuality. Worse yet, I was stuck with unrealistic sexual goals by those choreographed porn movies (the spark for my P.A.)
After my porn free journey, I began associating my real sexual encounters as experiences for pleasure rather than goal oriented acts. I also stopped relating sexual attraction (when seeing a beautiful lady) with an erection. Yes I still look at beautiful women, talk to them, and look them in the eye. But walking around most the day with an erection?… Unrealistic and frankly would be embarrassing!
Plainly put, I simply gave up trying to get myself aroused by mentally fantasizing and started trusting my natural sexuality. I now know my mojo is there when I need it, and ONLY when I need it. Sure I may have a mental set back here and there, but porn is gone for good.
I do want to be honest that quitting PMOing hasn’t fixed everything wrong in my life one shouldn’t expect it to.
LINK – fixed via epiphany on day 102
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