So I consider myself successfully recovered by now. I am 42 years old, sexually not very experienced and have been recovering for 11 months. During this time, I went from not being able to get an erection at all to having sex without ED drugs.
Here is an account of my journey.
My porn history – I started using porn as a teen in the 1980’s using magazines. Later I used dial-up internet and high-speed internet. I used about three to four times every week.
My issues with porn – I had my first sexual relationship when i was 25 years. At that time, I already struggled with ED, weak erections and premature ejaculation.
Then a year ago (after a few years of being without a partner), I got into a new relationship and couldn’t get it up even using Cialis. It was a low point in my life and I feared, I would never be able to have a satisfying sexlife ever. The most frightening thing was not being able to feel a blowjob anymore.
My way of the reboot:
A few days after this incident, I learned about YBOP and PIED. Since my doctor said, I was physically healthy and the issue is anxiety or psychological, I researched a therapist in my area and found out about porn addiction. It fit my situation perfectly and I started the reboot the same day in october 2013.
Stopping porn was easy. I had a lot of motivation to stop because of my new partner and never had an issue with relapsing to porn. I wanted to get our sex-life going as soon as possible, so I stocked up on ED drugs. We tried to have sex again after month….
My recovery:
This new relationship started as a long distance relationship. We are able to see each other once a month. In terms of the reboot, I alternated abstaining during the time I could not see my gf – and rewiring (including sex) when we were together.
I also tried to improve my life in general. So I moved to new house, tried to make the relationship with my gf work, worked out for some time.
The first three months, my erections started coming back slowly. I used ED drugs in high dosages, but the low libido and low sensitivity were still strong, so erections were weak and faded soon.
I made my most progress in the months four to six. Erections started to last longer, blowjobs started to have an effect. I needed to keep the frequency of my orgasms low, since they could set me into a flatline if I had them too frequently.
In the months seven to nine, I reduced the amount of ED drugs I took. My orgasm frequency improved to being able to have one orgasm per day without falling into a libido flatline. Since about a month (august 2014, the 11th month of my reboot), I can have satisfying penetrative sex without any ED drugs at all.
My advice:
- Start living a life, where porn has no place. Spend the energy you invested in porn into improving your social life and work on being with girls, preferably being in a relationship based on trust.
- Be proactive about the reboot. Don’t just sit around waiting for your life to change, work on your issues. ED drugs can help once you are past the flatline and they boost your confidence.
- Don’t obsess about the details of rebooting. Be consistent with staying away from porn and rewiring, time will do the rest.
I am thankful for YBOP and this community. I will stick around a little bit longer, but it will soon be time to move on and close this chapter of my life.
LINK – 11 month recovery for a middle aged guy
By Mart71
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