I have been here for 54 days now and have stayed away from the porn and wanking. Never have I managed to do that for so long. I was at the stage at age 50, of being unable to get fully hard.
Of spending hours and hours looking at shit online trying to find that elusive picture or video that would make my life complete. Doesnt that sound rediculous, as if a picture or video will make our lives complete.
I found this wonderful site which has been a true god send for me. I can now get hard, really hard like i was a teenager again. I actually want to go to bed with Mrs Little179 and have sex, not avoid it and be back where i was, preferring sex alone with the laptop and tissue box……
My porn habit had taken over my life, my thoughts, my every waking hour. Whenever i saw a girl i would imagine her nude with me or another girl. I started to think all girls were bi-sexual, that they found me attractive and wanted me. And then I got bored with looking at girls, then looked for Lesbian porn, then got bored with that, started to look at trannie porn and then I knew, my god i am out of control here. This isnt me, but i kept going, hours and hours of chatting, watching, sharing pics and vids, thinking i was some hugh hefner or something, pathetic.
My lfe was wasting away in front of my eyes. My first marriage fell over as there was no affection, no love just existance for the kids sake. Thankfully (now i think not then) my then wife ended it. I was alone at 38 and thinking we,, i fucked that up. And i did, i blame no-one but me and my illness/addiction.
Anyways, met a new lady about a year or so later and fell in love, i still am, love her madly. But my porn habit continued until i found this site and realised what a waste of space i was. I now walk heaps, lost weight (needed to i think!!) i get stuff done around house, i feel happier and more useful. I achieve now, not waste away.
Fill your life with something, something you havent done before. I walk heaps, try to keep active, that is my answer. But mostly, beleive in yourself, seek help here, you will find what you are looking for. You are on the way just being here……………keep going friend……it is so so so worth it……
LINK – Little179…my story thus far at day 54
BY little179
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