You hear it all the time from several sources that masturbation is healthy and they’re right, but the word “moderation” doesn’t usually follow.
I grew up in the world of free porn at my fingertips and let me tell you life was good.
Have a bad day at work or school? Porn is there when I get home. Depressed? Porn will cheer me up. Having difficulty dealing with a tough situation? Porn. Turned down by that girl you like? Porn. Headache? Porn. Feeling terrible after eating like an idiot? Porn…Porn…Porn…Porn…Porn…Porn.
After awhile of watching porn and masturbating to it 2-5 times a day for years it becomes a part of your daily routine, you just don’t really think about it as something that could be harmful. It becomes you, it defines you, it molds your personality, whether you know it or not.
I was an incredible pessimist, a “I hate people” type of guy. The type of guy that truly believed that he had the worst luck in the world and could do nothing to change it. I would constantly use the phrase “I feel stuck”. I had a few girlfriends, but came to resent women and really couldn’t tell anyone why. I would look down on the them, think I was smarter than every woman I met, and worst of all look at them as sexual objects and nothing more.
How did this happen? I used to look at a beautiful woman and become nervous and excited all the while noticing her beauty, her smile, her laughter, her voice, and her demeanor. That was all gone, all I noticed now was I wonder if I can see her thong or I wonder if I can find a pornstar that looks kind of like her?
In my travels on the internet I somehow came across (no pun intended) a video, a Ted Talk labeled “The Great Porn Experiment”. By chance I watched it, no doubt thinking it would lead to some kind of porn to watch. Instead it was a man discussing the effects that internet porn has on your brain and how stopping can be hugely beneficial to your life.
So based on the advice of the video I browsed the Reddit community called NoFap that is a collection of people quitting “PMO” (Porn, Masturbation, Orgasm). So after reading a number of inspiring posts I said what the hell I’ll give it a try.
So the next night there I was laying in my bed around 11:30PM with my laptop open, I was going through my usual sites like NFL.com and Politico not really thinking about anything in particular. Then it hit me and it hit me hard, I’m not supposed to head over to my favorite porn site, I’m quitting. Let me tell you that the first 2 days are akin to quitting a drug, I’m not being funny, it is FUCKING difficult and you finally realize that you have a serious addiction to this act of masturbating to internet porn. Not just masturbating and not just watching porn, it is the combination of the two that creates this numbing feeling while all the troubles you think you have in your life very briefly go away.
By the 4th day I had figured out that I could conquer this and I believed it would change my life, because to be honest I could finally notice that I was kind of dickhead and nobody likes a dickhead. A guy that just always seems angry for no good reason and hating the world.
After 10 days these 5 things I noticed will make you a convert if you think this could be a problem and want a reason to quit.
- Women became beautiful again and became important to me again. When you’re addicted to porn and masturbation the way I was you kind of start being OK with not being with women, not building relationships with them. Well after 10 days I started noticing beauty again; eyes, smell, touch, attitude, body language, and so on and so on. Objectifying women is porn, it’s all it is, it’s all about male domination and succuming to it. Once that leaves your brain you notice it and you notice that something as simple as a silly conversation with a woman can be a beautiful and fulfilling thing.
2. Quick Mind — I noticed that your mind can work a lot quicker when it is not foggy with porn and masturbation haze. Conversations with people flow much better and people will notice and comment on it. The speed at which your brain processes information increases to a point where reading an entire book or finishing a work project doesn’t seem like a chore anymore.
3. Self-Confidence goes through the roof — You just don’t feel down in the dumps anymore and your energy will increase. I started caring again about the clothes I wore. I started caring in general about how I looked. Women noticed, it became fairly easy to me to ask a random girl out and start a conversation with them. Not just with women, your self-confidence in your work, school, etc. will skyrocket.
4. Sexual Performance Improves — Any partner you are able to connect with and take home will notice your newly found attentiveness to the smallest details. And you will have zero problems with libido, the smallest things will set you off and it’s a great feeling.
5. You will find a new level of creativity and generally want to become a better human being. — I play guitar and my focus is such now that I can learn and create at a rapid pace. Not only that, but music in general just sounds incredible to me now. I notice little things when I watch movies I’ve seen a hundred times that I never did before. The greatest benefit is feeling like you need to do something every single day to make your life better and to help others that you love in any possible way you can.
So that’s it, it is not a secret, thousands of people are doing it and you can read their stories and the incredible benefits I didn’t even mention, to name just 5 is a little inane, but it’s a start.
I have stopped counting the days, I’m somewhere in the hundreds now and these benefits are now tenfold. It’s not for everybody, but if the way I described myself before is similar to you, it may be a reason for it even if you think it’s not. It’s up to you to get up and do something about it and finally start living the life you know you can.
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