Do you remember what it’s like to be a kid again? Have you ever experienced the butterflies when you reach for the hand of that special girl for the first time, and she grabs it willingly? That girl you actually have feelings for, and not just blind lust from a clouded and broken mind. When you tell her how you feel, and she says she feels the same way. You look deeply into her eyes, you can just stare at her eyes forever and be content, her adoring look mirroring yours. When you experience a raging boner just from the touch of her lips on yours… When you begin to reset, this is just one of many aspects of life that begins to be so fresh and wonderful again.
Honestly I’ve gone so many years wondering what was wrong with me. I’m not out of the woods yet, though NoFap does wonders for depression, that is a burden I’ll have to bear for the foreseeable future. But it does change so much. Over this past summer I made it through several phases of 7-14 day streaks before relapsing, yet all the while gaining ground in this difficult battle. The end of the summer culminated in me coming in to the school year with a 40-day record under my belt. I can honestly say that was the best I’ve ever felt since being a child. I don’t know what it is, but it is true that pornography is a poison for the mind, and masturbation expels your precious energy. After a short period of relapse and then a number of small streaks, I’m back again with a 19 day streak and I’m not planning on stopping any time soon. You just can’t let relapsing get to your head.
My social anxiety is nearly gone, now I’m just working through remnants of awkwardness from years of scarcely being able to speak to people. I can look everyone firmly in the eye, and speak with confidence in a way I’ve never been able to. I feel stronger in the gym than ever before, and my coordination with recreational sports (which I’ve always been awful at) has even increased. The cloud of anxiousness that constantly attacks my being is much milder, and I’m starting to feel happy. Little pleasures in life that I’ve been numb to for years are starting to do it for me again…those chemicals are getting balanced, the reward system is being used properly. I have an incredible girlfriend now who I would have honestly never ended up with if not for these benefits I’ve been experiencing.
I can’t really put into words everything that is changing in me, but for all you out there that are fighting the good fight, keep up hope, and be strong. If you believe in Him, pray and seek the help of God, He wants to see you at your best more than anything.
You can do it. And it gets so much better.
LINK – Looking into her eyes
by matt675
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