As I approach 90 days tomorrow, I’d like to express my sincere thanks to this subreddit.
A little background, I had been masturbating for about 10 years, often 3 times a day, sometimes more. I had starting using pornography to aid the process beginning about five or six years ago. It got to the point where it became a crutch for me to overcome stress or boredom in my life. It was my release. I couldn’t overcome anything without it.
I never realized the psychological effects that I was having on myself until I discovered this subreddit. I couldn’t, for the life of me, get up. I had PIED for years, and I usually just attributed it to being drunk or being tired or stressed. It never even crossed my mind that it might be the PMO. When I came across this subreddit, I put 2 and 2 together pretty quickly, and my reboot began the next day.
The process was difficult. There were nights that I wanted so badly to MO. It was those nights where I came here and sought solace in all of your kind and supportive posts. The stories of success, bumps in the road, and motivational posts. With your help, I was able to convince myself that the brief moment of satisfaction was dwarfed by the benefit of this process. I persevered, and I couldn’t be happier that I did.
Over the course of just a few weeks, I noticed a lot of changes for the better. A lot of you refer to them as “super powers.” The term is appropriate. The increased testosterone gives you improved performance athletically, socially, and mentally. This provides you with confidence which further increases your performance, which in turn increases your confidence. Case in point, I’ve been training for an 18 mile race that I ran last year. In my training last year, my average per mile pace for my medium distance (8-10 mile) training runs were 8:30. This year, after taking 7 months off from running after the race, that average pace is down to 8:05, and on some runs, it’s getting below 8. I’ve come to learn to embrace the spotlight and become the life of the party, rather than running from it and waiting in the wings. I truly have never felt better nor been more confident than I have now and I have the reboot to thank.
As for my addiction, it is entirely under my control. I’m posting this a day early fully confident that I will make it to tomorrow without a hitch. I don’t have any urges where I feel like I must PMO to get by, and I have more organic and healthy methods of dealing with stress and boredom. That said, knowing I’ve overcome an addiction is an awesome feeling, and I feel as though there is no challenge in my life that I cannot overcome.
That said, for those just starting, I offer the following advice.
- We have a wonderful community here on NoFap, and everyone is very supportive. When you first start your reboot, come here as often as you need to for support, because it will always be here if you seek it. However, as you continue on your reboot, I encourage you to stop coming here nearly as often. I think half the battle is ridding any thought of the act from your mind. I always associated this site with my PMO, so removing myself from the community for the final month was, in my mind, essential. I don’t intend for that to be disrespectful to anyone on this subreddit, but to quote Commissioner Gordon, you were the hero I deserved, but not the one I needed right now. You had served your purpose, and it was up to me to take it the rest of the way.
- Don’t put too much thought into the number. One of my biggest issues with this subreddit (again, no disrespect intended) is the “should I reset my badge” debate. Quite frankly, it misses the intent of the subreddit to the point where it stops becoming a venue for self-improvement and becomes a competition against one’s self. I was fortunate enough to never put myself in a position where my badge had to be reset, but I always operated under the rule where If I have done anything even remotely questionable, or asked the question “should I reset my badge?” I would have. Luckily, I did it the “easy” way, and avoided those situations altogether.
- When you’re just starting out, avoid any form of pornography or any visual/audible/sensory form of sexual stimulation outside of human touch. I had to stop watching certain television shows for about a month because I knew it would stimulate me and drive me to masturbate (I had to wait to watch Orange Is the New Black). Eventually, you overcome such stimulation and you can resume these activities as if they weren’t such a big deal. However, part of the recovery process is overcoming “non-traditional” sexual stimulation, and that’s just part of the process.
- Always realize why you’re doing it. If you keep a long-term focus and say “if I do this, I will be [insert desired result here],” it’s much easier to overcome the urges. It’s a difficult journey, but nothing in life worth doing is easy.
TL/DR: thank you, my life is now awesome, and good luck if you’re on a journey like I’m on.
LINK – 90 Days Tomorrow. A Retrospective.
by the_piedster
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