Before I start, I wanna say that it would be basically impossible to describe to all of your the tremendous amount of change that has happened in this last year as a result of NoFap.
It took me a little over a year to finally hit 90 days and there were times where I thought I would never make it, but it feels amazing to finally say that I did.
I started watching porn at around age 12. For the sake of simplicity, I’m just going to skip from then until about a year ago. I had just withdrawn from university and I was living at home stuck in a depression I never even knew I had. I was able to ignore my depression through PMO, it wasn’t until I stopped that I realized how empty my life really was.
Lets go back to the semester I withdrew from my university. I was a socially inept video-game addict that was prescribed adderall for my “ADD”. The problem was, the meds never motivated me to focus on school, instead the meds made me delve into other meaningless tasks, which included intense PMO. I used to take my meds and just PMO for hours on end. Binging and edging to all different kinds of messed up porn on /b/.
I’d PMO and then wonder why I had no desire to accomplish anything. I’d finish and then immediately after I would turn on my Xbox and game for hours on end.
Two of the biggest distractions in my life; PMO and Xbox. It wasn’t until I finally sat down with one of my roommates and talked about my future did I realize I had no desire whatsoever to be a business major. I had no passion and no reason to be in school. I had no reason to be enrolled in a university other than the fact that it’s what my parents wanted and it’s what I thought I was supposed to do. After a couple more days of thinking and tanking an exam, I decided to leave school and come home and figure my life out.
After I came home I fell further into depression. Still PMOing and still playing Xbox for hours. I finally managed to get a job but I still wasn’t doing anything with my life. It wasn’t until I came across yourbrainonporn.com on /b/ that I finally stopped and took a good long look at myself and realized why I had no motivation and happiness in my life.
I realized how much I had been PMOing my whole life. How I had never had a girlfriend and how I never had any confidence with women. How I was a bitter angsty teenager that wondered why he always wound up in the friendzone. I was drowning myself in negativity and self-loathing.
After finding yourbrainonporn.com and /r/nofap I started changing. I finally stopped taking my meds, stopped gaming and stopped wasting hours away on my computer. I finally started to put myself out there and make connections with a few women. I had some heart breaks but it was the first time in a long time that I actually felt a feeling so intense. Before I stopped PMOing I would just jerk off until I became emotionally numb towards anything. Now I actually felt both sadness and happiness and it made me feel human again.
I started working out and found a love for fitness and nutrition. I’m actually proud of the work I have put into my body and it feels great to be happy without wearing a shirt haha. I spent the whole year researching how to be a better person not only for other people but for myself. I realized that I PMOed so much because I hated myself and who I was. Now I love who I am and I think self-love in the most important kind of love. A wise man once said, “If you don’t love yourself then how can anyone else?”.
I turned myself from a negative person into an insanely positive person. I stopped hating and starting finding things I was passionate about in life. When I stopped PMOing my focus became 10x better and life became a lot clearer. A lot of you guys talk about superpowers and how they’re all just in your mind, but I disagree. When I abstain from PMO and MO I get an actual “buzz”. I have this drive to go out and do things and talk to people that I never did when I was PMOing. I feel more awake and it’s easier to get out of the bed in the morning. I’ve also had the best gains of my life in the past 90 days. I don’t need my meds anymore because my focus is so much clearer without PMO in my life.
I finally learned what it means to be a man and what responsibilities I have to deal with as a man. As of now I am back in school studying something I love (nutrition and dietetics) and I found a girl that I love and who loves me and it is a feeling I have been missing out on for far too long.
In these past 90 days I’ve done NoFap I’ve had sex a handful of times. All of those times I had trouble not cumming in seconds haha. I’ve decided to start MOing again, once a week on a Sunday before bed to work on this. I went from porn induced ED to uncontrollable pre-ejaculation in about and year and it feels good, but I want to find some sort of balance in my life. I know a lot of you guys might frown upon this choice but I know this is what I want to do and what’s best for me and I know that I will never go back to my old ways because I love who I am now way too much.
Lastly, I just wanna thank this sub for being here for me when I needed it most and I wish all of you guys and girls the best of luck on your journey. I know this was long but thank you for reading if you read it all. Please feel free to ask me any questions!
TL;DR Went from a boy with a PMO/gaming addiction doing nothing with my life to a man with desire, responsibilities, relationships, gains (lol) and happiness.
LINK – 90 days. From boy to man.
by Nogie
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