I’ve known about NoFap for years. Tried it a few times to entertain myself, always failed after a few days and never thought much about it, because I’m ‘sex positive’ and that justifies fapping how often you like, to whatever turns you on.
I had (…and still have) 500gb of porn to help me with that, and boy, did I. That didn’t mean I didn’t have severe performance problems, however.
For the past year or so, I used to prepare for sex by watching porn I really liked at the time. Looked at the scenes I particularly liked and tried to remember it for later. By the time I was having sex with my girlfriend, this memory worked for about ten seconds or so. After that, I’d start going through the list of my favorite porn stars and imagine I were fucking them or remembering particular scenes about them. If I took too long thinking of one, I’d go soft and had to try to get hard again. That was by far the most difficult part.
She could never get me erect by giving a blowjob. I couldn’t feel a thing, and without control, I couldn’t get into it. Combine that with me constantly going through my mental porn library in order to try to get hard, and surely enough, blowjobs were a bust. Sex with her on top didn’t work either – without control and the exact movements to stimulate me, I’d lose my erection rapidly. Sex with the lights off? No chance, because I had to see every part of my girlfriend for that little more visual stimulant. Without it, getting erect would prove impossible. But hey, as long as I finally got going, despite all of that, at least I lasted long enough.
It wasn’t long before I realized I had a problem, and the solution was incredibly obvious. I had to take erection pills. In all honesty however, they worked like a goddamn charm. You see, they don’t cause an erection, but they help you in achieving one. Once it’s there, you’ll be harder than you’ve ever been before, and it will last as long as you want it to. Amazing. So there began my expensive journey on the reliance of erection pills. Honestly, I wasn’t that bad, but every time I swallowed one, I swallowed a bit of my pride. Not to mention the fact that my heart was never truly in it while we were having sex. I was hard, but still not very aroused and it made me feel so detached. When I no longer had to think about porn in order to stay erect, I began to think about nothing at all… Sex wasn’t fun, it was work and I began to dislike it.
It wasn’t until a month ago, when I had to go to compete in big sport event abroad. It was great fun and I didn’t have the chance to fap for about five days (didn’t occur to me either at the time), but when I came home to my girlfriend, I felt something I hadn’t felt that intensely in a long long time. I wanted nothing else than to have sex with my beautiful girlfriend. What followed was one of the most intense sessions we had in a long time and I felt incredibly manly. I felt alive and it was so good. I never want this to change again, and well… I saw the light.
Since then I’ve fapped twice, tried to edge several times, but it seems my willpower increases by the day. I feel better, things are clearer and something has absolutely changed within me. I know when my heart is in it, and when it’s not. I’m committed to it this time around, and I will not fail. NoFap is actually fixing all of this for me, and my outlook is incredibly positive right now. This is one of the greatest revelations I’ve had in a long time, and I’ll be damned if I don’t take a hold of it with both hands and never let go.
I’m not going to count the days – this is my life now. Sure, I might relapse every once in a while, but I will never fall back into that pit of despair I wallowed in for so long. That’s finally over. Now come the good times.
by nostahp1
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