Well, here’s a little background on me. I’m a straight male, college student, living in a thriving college city, shy as can be, and in these past 3 or so years I’ve developed some ridiculously bad acne. I started the fap game young (11 or 12) and we used to be inseparable. Tired from track practice? Fap. Tired from work? Fap. Just got done hanging with the homies? Fap. Just got home from work? Fap. Parents went to test drive a car? Fap in the Mazda dealership bathroom. It started out relatively simple, with the occasional masturbation session here and there but as I grew older it got to the point where I’d be masturbating multiple times a day, taking up an hour or two per session. I got to the point were I had multiple tabs open viewing multiple formats of porn. Shit, you name it: stumble upon, pornhub, reddit, xvideos, adult comics, constantly browsing for something new and exciting and only recently did I truly sit down and assess the impact that porn addiction had on me.
I started out watching the vanilla stuff, just your basic penetration, cumshot, yahta yahta. As my addiction grew I got into some interesting shit: hentai, gangbang, machines, bondage, forced orgasms, and I even dabble in the shemale stuff (nothing wrong with shemales, just not something I would be interested in in real life). I noticed my interests getting more and more extreme and less and less representative of my true interests. I also noticed that I wasn’t always satisfied after an orgasm. Sometimes, things just didn’t feel right. Porn got too dull, and I wanted to experience real sex, however, being the shy person acne ridden person that I was, I didn’t talk to many people let alone any girls. I got so desperate that I put up adds on craigslist seeking intimacy and one day I came to the conclusion that I should just stop fucking watching porn.
You see, porn dramatically skewed my view of women. Every time I saw a woman I found attractive I would automatically envision all the sexual acts I would want to do to her, sexual acts inspired by pornography. I realized that I had begun viewing a lot of women as sexual objects and that viewing porn made my dehumanize women. After some reflection I realized that I wouldn’t want people judging me purely based upon my looks, so I shouldn’t do the same to women. Not to mention the fact that the men and women who work in the porn industry aren’t representative of all women. They oftentimes have augmented bodies and the ones that aren’t augmented, the ones with model figures, aren’t gonna be your everyday people. Despite this fact, the women around you are still beautiful in their own way and that’s also something I’ve realized after quitting porn.
After quitting I was able to truly focus on other things like school and building a real relationship with a girl. Now, I’m dating someone for the first time, someone who I think is beautiful and whom I’ve recently received my first kiss from. Sex wasn’t even on my mind when I decided I wanted to pursue a relationship with this girl and it still isn’t. I’m just happy to experience the little intimacies like cuddling and hand holding, something I’d never have imagined doing while still an avid porn addict. I’m realistic about my expectations in regards to women and relationships. It may not be much but I recall my first day of NoFap being 07/02/15. It hasn’t been much time but I’m confident that I won’t go back to extreme porn viewing like I used to and I think that anyone who wants to quit has to truly evaluate the impact that porn has had on them.
Hopefully this helps out guys who were in a similar situation I was in, guys who haven’t interacted much with women, who have poor images of women, and have been addicted to porn from an early age.
tl;dr – havne’t fapped in a while, life is good
;