I started this reboot when I was 19, about 11 or so months ago. Probably one of the worst cases of PIED out there, I hadn’t been able to get an erection since early in high school. A little over a week ago, I lost my virginity to my incredible girlfriend and we’ve had sex three times since then, something I was genuinely afraid I would never be able to do. I’ll post my story later, but here is my “HOW TO” post to anyone struggling.
TIPS AND PHILOSOPHIES ON BEATING PIED/ADDICTION:
1. OPTIMISM CAN BE A CHOICE
This is the most important piece of advice I can offer. The crappy thing about a reboot is that its results are random and you don’t have much more than a blind guess as to when you heal. I believed I’d be done around day 180 (mistake, more on this later) and I wasn’t. Use this time to be excited for yourself and proud that you decided to make a positive change in your life. Even the failures that lie ahead, like not getting it up with a girl you like during the reboot, should be considered a success. On a deep neurological level: you taught your brain where it wants to go and what it should be ready for. This leads me to my next point…
2. CELEBRATE THE LITTLE THINGS
You made it to 2 weeks for the first time? Nicely done! You fought an urge you would have caved to earlier? Eat a piece of candy, you earned it. If you give your brain a reward for avoiding PMO and other bad habits, it’s going to help. What you’re doing might be the most difficult mental battle you ever go through. Power through that shit and be proud of how much you accomplish.
3. IMPROVE YOUR LIFE
While this piece of advice seems backwards, it can help exponentially in your reboot a number of different ways. One of the things that helped me get through this crap the most was EXERCISE. I was made fun of relentlessly in high school for being tall and skinny, and over the last year and a half of exercise I’ve become a fitness model who competes in long-distance obstacle course races. Avoiding PMO will leave a void in your life, this is a perfect opportunity to fill that with a healthier habit.
On a second note, addictions like these are often actually the symptom of a life problem, not the problem itself. When things get hard in our lives, especially stressful things like a divorce or being dumped or not knowing what to pursue in life, we tend to find outlets that make us feel better. Masturbation naturally fills you with dopamine to feel satisfaction (you’ve tricked your brain into thinking it reproduced). This unnatural overload of hormones dulls your senses to other things in life that should bring you joy. If you improve other aspects of your life outside of PMO such as: family relationships, practicing hobbies, traveling places you want to go, checking things off your bucket list, you won’t need the artificial joy of PMO. When your life improves, why would you?
5. OUTSMART YOUR PRIMAL SELF
You need to be honest with yourself in how to handle your addiction, and there’s no shame in going to drastic measures to kick this crap. In the early stages of my reboot I stopped listening to sexual music, stopped watching Rated R movies and tv shows, stopped lounging in my house by myself, stopped following certain pages on instagram/facebook, and closely monitored my mood and my phone usage. I always used my phone to PMO, and during urges I’d run and put my phone in my bedroom and stay in the living room or outdoors to make sure I didn’t do anything stupid. Sometimes your ego can take over and think “I don’t need to go THAT extreme, that’d be a little too much”, but there is no shame in fighting this addiction with every weapon in your arsenal.
Also, there comes a point where you will have to learn to trust yourself in the later stages. That doesn’t mean refollowing those questionable instagram pages or staring at a particular magazine a little too long, it means that you have to trust your maturity with the issue and move along. The first couple months of my reboot, I was on this website multiple times a day for the support, which helped. But that also indirectly forced me to think about how it sucks to have PIED more often, so I eventually learned to lean myself away from this site to focus on other aspects of my life. Getting over addiction is not forgetting that the drug exists, its about understanding that the drug does and that you still don’t want any part of it.
6. MAKE YOUR DECISIONS SIMPLE
Don’t let your brain tell you what it wants during an urge. Even during my worst anxiety attacks during this reboot, I knew that I had two simple options I could go with: I could cave and immediately hate myself afterwards, having a shitty week or so after full of depression and guilt. OR I could fight it for a couple minutes, be proud of beating that urge, and eat myself a goddamn piece of candy. Everything is black and white, even if your state of mind clouds that for a little while. Follow this even at the end of your reboot, which leads me to my final point…
7. TRUST THE PROCESS
I can not emphasize this enough: DON’T GIVE YOURSELF A DEADLINE. If you assume you’ll finish your reboot after 90 days, you’ll be pissed when you don’t. Forget 90. Don’t pay attention to it. I was getting worried after 180 days when I should’ve just trusted nature and relax. A little over 300 days in and I’m a free man, words I never thought I’d utter. And be supportive on this website, your words of encouragement could save someone’s progress and motivate your own.
Hopefully this helps anyone in this struggle, post here for any questions and I’ll be posting my actual reboot story in the coming weeks!
Special shoutouts to Rec101 and Hextonix for being some of the most supportive dudes during my recovery, mad respect for you two guys!
Also: shoutout to my homie Gabe Deem for setting this all up and helping out a countless amount of people with his activism, keep it up bro!
– SC
LINK – I Finally Beat PIED as a Young Rebooter
BY – Stretchcomic
UPDATE – Beating Post Addiction Performance Anxiety
Whats up guys, I’ve wanted to make a post about an issue that I’ve seen a lot of guys struggle with (myself included) and hopefully help anyone facing similar circumstances out!
Post-Addiction Performance Anxiety
This issue is basically when you no longer feel powerful draw of PMO but still find yourself struggling to perform with your partner. I dealt with this severely with my girlfriend for several weeks until I did a ton of research and found strategies that helped me:
1. Its okay to be selfish here
Its only logical to want to pleasure your partner and “be everything they expect”. Unfortunately, this can lead to anxiety of setting yourself expectations on how you need to perform, and create a negative spiral of self-doubt. While it is good to make sure your partner is taken care of, also focus on what YOU LIKE. There is nothing wrong with doing something because it feels good to you, and trying to blindly enjoy that to take some stress off of your shoulders.
2. Breathe and slow it down
If you feel your mind racing while getting physical, take some deep breathes and think about the good things that are going on. What does it feel like? What do you like about it? It sounds simple but its amazing how easy it is to simplify things. Actively thinking about whether or not you can get it up, if your partner is enjoying it, or what you may be self-conscious about is a boner-killing bummer and those thoughts don’t deserve your time.
3. Failure is okay
Not being able to perform sucks, I know it. It can leave you embarrassed, disappointed, and wondering if a reboot will ever really work out.
IT WILL.
All you can do is move on and be positive. “Oh it didn’t work out this time? Oh well, it felt good for awhile and you rewired your brain for awhile. Freakin’ success.” Positivity is your greatest weapon in this struggle, and you just got to keep going, do something you enjoy (exercise, see a movie, etc), clear your head and try again later with some optimism.
Hope this helps some people out there! Let me know if you have questions!
SC
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