I’ve been lurking nofap for over 2 years now, and I guess, after checking my counter, and thinking about how much nofap has changed my life, I owe it to this community to let you guys know what it’s done for me and what it has the potential to do for you.
I’m 22 years old, started nofap when I was 19, so I’ve been on and off since. Growing up I’ve always been sociable, loved speaking to people, loved interacting with people, always got along with everyone and done ok with girls (lost virginity when I was 16). I’ve always been an extrovert, however, I’ve also always been content chilling by myself and enjoying my own company. Around 18 I got a job, which lead to me not having time to socialise or go out, I (unintentially ended up in a routine of going home, watching porn, work home porn, rinse and repeat. It was in this routine that slowly, I really got addicted and hooked by porn, and slowly but surely the classic symptons of being addicted to porn kicked in.
Simply things like eye contact begun to be an issue with me, people have always said I’ve had the gift of the gab, that I have charm, people would still say this, but I begun to over think, and over analyse, I started to feel pressure, I started to sweat in conversations because I felt (in my head) that I was supposed to be good in social situations. I started to have to think in a conversation, instead of it naturally flowing how it had always been in the past. Small things, like thinking about where I was looking, if I was in a room with multiple people, I’d think people were staring at me, if I had to speak infront of multiple people, my heart would start pounding, I’d start sweating. If I was speaking to men sometimes I’d get intimated, I’d start sweating, or my heart would race abit (I’m a 6ft 3 guy, with a stocky build, and I’ve always been able to handle myself in the past) It absolutely made zero sense how, as I saw getting older, I was turning into a pussy, yet, this was what was happening.
I didn’t know what was going on, I had a car, I had good friends, I was going College, I had a job, yet for some reason I felt like my mind was deteriorating and mentally I was crumbling. In hindsight I now know that porn warped my mind so much that things that are supposed to come naturally were disappearing before my eyes, it completely baffled me and it lead to me literally hiding myself away from the world, I stopped going out, I stopped making plans, I disconnected myself from everyone and everything, I became the definition of an introvert, and of course, I watched a fuck ton of porn, and yes, it escaled to some fucked up shit that you can only imagine, and now, at 94 days, I look back in disgust, but also do not feel bad, because I know that it was my brain seeking more shocking material to get the same feeling.
Without waffling, in a nut shell, porn robbed me off my social skills, it made me self-conscience, it took away my self confidence that I’d always had, it made me question everything, it gave me slight hocd (questioning my fucking sexuality), I now look back, after being away from porn for so long, and everything is so clear, my mind is so sharp , and I’m now 100% comfortable with my sexuality (straight), like I was before I got hooked on porn. When you’re feeding your brain with fucked up, twisted shit, how can you not expect thoughts to go in your head.
Porn created huge amounts of anxiety and fed my brain with poison, it was only after removing it, and living life without this porn that I truly saw porn for what it is, toxic poison. Don’t get me wrong, I used to watch it every now and then way before I was 18, I first watched it when I was 10, however, as I said, I’ve always socialised, and always gone out, so I never had time to gethooked on it, and I guess that’s why it never affected me the way it did, until I started binging excessively.
I’m going to wrap it up because I already wrote a lot more then I intended to, and I think you get the idea, I don’t even know if anyone will read this but I’ll be happy atleast 1 person benefits from my experience, I will finish with a conclusion of nofap and a summery of the benefits, as well as my life currently.
Before this 94 days, I had a streak of 32, and before then 44, so I guess it’s a lot more then that, but well, now, I’ve got a girlfriend, I’m studying my 2nd year of College (for a business diploma) I’m going university at the end of this year, my confidence is absolutely sky high (higher then before, though I think this is due to a mix of getting older, things that I’ve achieved, and of course, cutting porn).
Sex is absolutely amazing (much better then how it was before, when I was masturbating / looking at porn occasionally) I had mild premature ejaculation, that has now gone, and I can control when I ejaculate (that’s probably worth mentioning).
The connection that I have with my girl is out of this world, real, vulnerable intimacy (when you let your guard down with a girl, and you get back what you give, man I can’t explain the feeling, it’s euphoric), and I seriously owe it to nofap, there’s just no other explanation.
Eye contact is effortless, speaking clearly with a strong tone, motivation is through the roof, I can’t wait to tackle life head on, I can’t wait to achieve greatness, success is my aim and I’m just going with the flow, enjoying life day by day. Connection with friends and family is amazing, I now love going out again, I love making plans, I love socialising (like I did before) I now can’t stand being at home, I get bored (however sometimes it is nice to just chill, and relax, but not much).
I dunno, I can’t really put it into words, and it gets better every day, if I hadn’t found Gary Wilson’s video, then I seriously don’t know where I’d be, probably sitting here banging it out to some fucked up shit, deprived of semen, depressed and anxious, wondering what the point of my existence is, and where it all went wrong, fortunately I did find that video and I’m eternally grateful.
I’m living proof that porn fucked me up, and I’m living proof that quitting porn destroyed the damage that it done to me, and I now feel even better then I did before I actually became addicted to it, this is probably due to a mix of quitting masturbation and taking porn out completely. I have zero interest in ever going back to porn or masturbation, however, I’m not naïve, and I know urges will most likely come back, especially when I’m horny.
I’m wiring my brain more and more day by day though, to know that the only way I will orgasm is through a real women, and damn, when it happens, it feel feels fucking amazing, knowing that me and my girl have that connection is the best feeling ever.
Right ok, I’m actually done now, so yeah.
TLDR – Before I got hooked on porn I was;
Out going Social Happy with life Good with girls. Had a silver tongue, a way with words I’d say I was popular, I had a lot of friends No anxiety Very confident
After getting hooked on porn I was;
Depressed Anxious Intimated easily Extreme social anxiety (I didn’t know wtf was going on with me until I researched) Turned into extreme introvert and virtually stopped socialing
After no fap, to put it bluntly, all the things that started happening me when I started to get hooked on porn vanished, and I’m now back to how I was before, but just, better, much much better, I seriously think in 10 years or, maybe even less, porn will be exposed as the demon it is, because it is a fucking drug, and a dangerous one at that, that temporary pleasure that it gives you is robbing you of precious chemicals, it literally steals your masculinity and turns you into a shell.
Good luck with whomever walks this journey, cause everyone is on a journey, and if you decide to walk yours without porn, I have no doubt you’ll triumph into a great man, I’ve quit porn, now in the best relationship with the most amazing girl, going University, have great friends, great family, confidence is through the roof, anxiety is zero, I couldn’t be happier and the world is my oyster.
LINK – 94 days
by ile123
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