I’m 25, and I used porn for close to 10 years. A lot of what got me to give this a try was l had just had a discussion with a friend of mine about my teenage years. I attributed a lot of it to a strong sex drive, but realized I had lost that long ago. I just so happened to see a post on r/all that linked back to NoFap, and from there I thought about how I was spending more and more time doing something I was enjoying less and less and I realized I had a problem. So I made an honest effort to get away from it.
In essence the person I was before used porn to desensitize myself to needing women for sexual content, therefore I was never really interested in those around me, except when they did something that triggered my various fetishes that I had grown accustomed to through porn use. In daily situations not sex related, I would overthink a lot of situations, and had way more stress due to it. Because of this, I would often avoid new situations. My lack of sexual interest in women around me caused me to never pursue dating, with only one exception.
Most days I had no interest in getting laid. Since I had porn, I didn’t need orgasms through sex, and I had seen anything I wanted to, so my urges and curiosity were almost always quelled. I did make friends, but much slower as typically I avoided social situations as they were too stressful. Many of my friends are women.
Most days I would do the deed once before bed, but on days off or whenever I was especially bored or lonely, I would go up to 3 times a day.
Now I feel like I’ve become the man I was supposed to be all along. I was so obsessed with avoiding my urges that I never once considered a life in which I embraced them. I feel attraction towards women when I used to not, I feel much more sensitive to flirting, and feel way more at ease to flirt back if I’m interested. In general I’ve gained the tools to get laid if I choose to use them. As for normal situations, I follow my gut more, and suffer far less stress. I make more an effort to hang out with friends in person rather than online.
I think one of the important things to keep in mind is you have made a decision, and you already knew starting out it wouldn’t be easy. The thing I did was educate myself as much as I could on how others went through NoFap, and then went heavy on things that went over the neuroscience of addiction and the effects of porn use. The knowledge strengthened the part of my brain that fights the temptation when it became really strong. I stayed active on here as well, to constantly remind myself of my goal. When the day came that urges became really intense, I had a moment of “this is stupid” that brought me to my senses before I searched for porn. It saved my streak, and perhaps it could save yours.
I missed who I was before porn. I had a chat with a friend on facebook and the discussion went to teenage years. I didn’t find porn as early as some, so I had some years of being a teen before porn came in quite heavily. So in some ways I hoped to gain what I lost to porn back, but also I realized that I was addicted, and I wished for control back. I feel whole again. Something I realized within just a week or two of being here was that urges weren’t the enemy, they were a tool that had long been missing.
There was a moment in which it shifted. I believe it was in the 50 day range that I had an extreme urge, and I mention this on number 5. It was not long after beating that moment that everything just sorta clicked. I no longer struggled with it. So it was after that point that this streak wasn’t hard to maintain, and all the benefits gained became normalized. It’s still amazing at times, but none of it feels out of place now.
The things you learn from [NoFap] are useful in more ways than one. It isn’t crucial, but it’s something that will benefit you to do regardless if you need it. I’ve not had sex since I started NoFap. You experience the changes without having sex. I’m sure there are added benefits to sex while on NoFap, but it is not required.
Something that helped me was watching a few informative videos. This one will go over the effects of porn on your brain and the other one will go over addiction and where it occurs in the brain. These two were huge in bolstering my decision to stop, and you need all the willpower available when the urges get intense. As for things to quit while you’re at it, I personally also quit drinking alcohol, and it likely helped my odds of not relapsing as I was never inhibiting my rationality. I wish you the best of luck, and hope to see your progress on here!
[Advice] If someone sends you nudes, I would request that they allow me the pleasure of seeing them in person rather than over a picture. That though they are certainly lovely, you wish to not put an image over the real deal. If these people you aren’t interested in at all, then explain to them that you would like to keep things away from that type of interaction, and that you are sorry if you led them to believe otherwise. That they do not need to use their bodies to draw you in, as you are already interested in them as people. As for the question on dealing with looking at women, I would have to say it’s totally natural. Women look at men, and there is purpose behind being attracted to them. You are no longer misusing your hormones, so embrace the man that comes from removing your over-stimulation!
By Greiza
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