Here is the short version of my story: 25 years old. 5 years into porn with bad habits such as fapping inside my pants without erection. PIED and PE. Not weird tastes. I stopped watching porn 1.5 years ago. I made my 90 days of nofap and then masturbating on and off without fantasizing.
I think masturbation made the recovery slower, anyway. Sometimes I had problems to do it.
Anyway, always improving. Met a girl. Had sex. 1st (drunk, not even hard), 2nd and 3rd time I finished in seconds. Now I last as long as I want. PE solved. PIED solved too (erection still at 90-95%, I think)
There isnt any secret. Just self-discipline. And deleting your files or favorites, obviously. In my case I didnt take cold showers, no meditation neither. If there is any sport you like, do it; even if you have to do it alone. Just try to do the things that you enjoyed before porn addiction. Join your friends plan, or create your own and invite your friends. Sorry if the answet is too obvious but as I said there isnt any magical recipe. All addictions (as drugs ) are difficult to beat. Assume that your feelings are part of the recovery process.
When you are healing you notice a lot of things that you did wrong and then you feel bad for it. While you are into a porn addicition you become a being without feelings, but when you wake up all the feelings wake up too with you. Feel bad, but not feel guilt because we are just victims of the porn of the new era. Im sure this is one of the worst illness to beat and nowadays the new generations arent ready for this.
I didnt have high speed connection so I masturbated fantasizing before porn. I had a gf too. Not bad experience or trauma but always finished early. I wouldnt call it PE since I was just a tennager taking the first steps at sex and having it not often. Then I started porn at 18-19
My [family] was good I think. We had arguments too, but nothing serious
Stopped porn 1.5 years ago. Made 90 days of nofap around 1 year ago (around 2 months trying and relapsing). Sometimes I stopped 1 week. Its a slowly process. Sometimes you see you can masturbate without fantasizing (best evidence of beating PIED) and suddenly one day you cant get hard. But little by little i was able to masturbate and keep it hard without any psychological stimulation. I noticed the most progress at the last two months that I got hard always.
Urges for porn stayed for a while at the beginning. Then they went away and never came back. Urges for fap stayed for long time. But when I allowed me to do it, i had the limit of once per 2 day (sometimes I did it more, but always without going crazy). I didnt want to obsess too much about it, and keep my mindset about sex as something good and enjoyable (Porn is the real devil!). Now after all this long time I feel so afraid of porn. I mean, I cant even write some name of a webpage of google. Too much fear. My hearth starts going faster. It reminds me my old dark sad times. Its a weird feeling, but better than hurges, thats sure. 2. About chaser effect: for now I only masturbated once while having sex often. It felt boring actually. Im not planing to do it again. Its like now that I know sex, fap looks boring. Anyway its soon to speak. But im not faping for a while.
[ How have you changed emotionally and mentality?]
The day and the night. Im totally different. I think emotionally I still have more path to walk. I still dont have the big emotions I felt before. But maybe its because Im 6 years older and I dont feel the things as a teenager does. Mentality Im much better. I feel happy, no more brain fog, no hurges, i can concentrate, be social… Just a normal guy. I enjoy the things that I usually did again. I have plans for the future too… I think my friends and family notice my improvement 🙂 one of the best things is enjoying making people laugh again and feeling motivated to do it. While my addiction I lost this ability. I used to be that kind of guy that make you laugh constantly. Now im becoming that guy again 🙂 dont give up guys this is worth it!
In my case I relapsed (MO) when I felt bad or depressed, for example after doing a bad exam which was important; I masturbated to feel better. I found myself (or my brain) looking for porn where theres not porn at all. I mean social media (i never used it so it never was a problem), date apps, chat apps(with random people). Im not anti-tinder, but assume that you are out of the business for a while. I used it while recovering and i had the same body feeling as watching porn. Even I got a little brain frog. Also at the end, finding out that after 90 days of nofap i wasnt able yet to get hard sometimes was so disapointing. So I recommend to go as long as you can.
I’m not sure, it’s natural. I just dont do anything. I dont know if its related but after my 90days I tried to masturbate and lasting long while doing it (but I found out that I had still some ED problems, so im not sure if its the best option) I remember while my porn adiction that I was so focused in cumming. Its the only thing I had in my mind.
I had my bad experiences at sex too. Wanting to cum without being erected…… Now I dont get that crazy. Im calm while doing it. And I dont effort on being calm, it comes natural after stoping P after a long time. Obviously I was nervous and worried at first time, but you have to assume that you will be after all this long path. If you have stayed for long time without porn and you finish quickly at first times you could be suffering from coolidge effect. Just keep trying. Tell your partner that you finish soon at first times. She will understand.
Now I just enjoy sex as never before. Im not thinking about finishing or not. I just do it and if I want to finish I concentrate and go faster and I finish. My case was so bad so everybody can do it. Just not looking at porn! 🙂
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