When I was 16 years old I tried to have sex for the first time and couldn’t get it up. Not even a little bit. I’m here to tell you: no it’s not performance anxiety, no your testosterone levels are fine, no you’re not gay/asexual/whatever – you watch too much porn and this is the place that’s going to make you a normal person again.
It’s been 10 years. I started NoFap 2 years ago and last night I successfully had natural sex for the first time in my life. I was as hard as physically possible during the entire experience and it felt incredible.
Over those two years my longest streak was only about 60 days. However, I’m very strict and reset if I “look” for porn – this includes even clicking on a link from the front page of light nudity. It’s been a long time since I’ve actually MO’d to porn.
My streak as of right now is 24 days (badge not working). However, the last time I reset was because I clicked on an NSFW link on the main page. I did not stay on that page for more than a minute and definitely didn’t M or O.
The problem isn’t just physically masturbating to porn; that is just a symptom. I believe the root of the problem is seeking pleasure through artificial means which is why I reset if I even look at nudity (unless of course it was by mistake)
Of course I have tips man:
About staying calm; I’m sure a lot of people have performance anxiety but PA does not last years. Sorry but that’s the truth. If you stop fapping, your biological pleasure system will become the norm for your brain (rather than the artificial porn-based one you were used to) and trust me when you get to the point I’m at, the sight of a naked woman makes you so intensely aroused that you won’t even have time to think about being nervous. Normal sex ‘just happens’ you don’t think about it, you don’t make it happen by telliing yourself things in your head like “calm down! you have to enjoy this and perform!” or whatever
About the rebooting process; it’s fucking hard. No two ways about it. My biggest tip: the longer you think about porn, the more exponentially difficult it becomes to not watch it. For example, daydreaming about porn for 40 seconds will almost certainly lead to a relapse; think about it for 2 seconds and then force yourself to think about something else and you will certainly not relapse. Think of every time the thought jumps into your head as a small battle in a bigger war. Every time you fight an urge, you win a battle and are one step closer to recovery
I had a lot of sex during those 2 years and failed many, many times.
Let me give you some back story: before nofap I was not able to get an erection. At all. Nothing. I remember after my first week of NoFap, I was able to get an erection and immediately lose it. This was the turning point for me. I had never been able to get an erection and then I got one after 1 week of NoFap so that’s when I realized this was it and I went all in.
Over those 2 years I attempted sex many times and failed many times. It gradually got better although it was definitely inconsistent – sometimes I was able to keep it up for 40 minutes, sometimes not able to get it up for more than 2 minutes. Then yesterday I had full blown sex for the first time. I was rock hard from start to finish and it was physically amazing.
So to answer your question, you might need 2 years – I certainly did. It depends on these three factors: how young you were when you started porn, how long you did it, how much you did it during that time.
Good luck fellas. You can do it too.
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